Page 92 of Mistletoe and Malice
Holding on tight, she held his gaze with hers, the air thick between them with the unspoken. She reluctantly let go of him, letting her fingertips linger at his for a brief moment, knowing it would be the last time she’d ever touch him.
Tears fell freely as she made her way back up the stairs, suddenly not hungry as her heart fell into pieces. In her suite, she curled up in a corner of the sofa where she’d fallen asleep in the arms of the man she loved the night before. The same man now walking out of her life.
Wrapping her arms around her knees, she stared at the window. Silent tears spilled down her cheeks as her mind fought to make sense of what had just happened. How could she have been so wrong? She’d believed him when he’d told her he’d be there as long as she needed him. That he cared about her. That he wanted to be with her.
But it had all been a lie.
She threw her head back, willing control over her emotional state. She hated crying. Hated being out of control.
Yet that’s exactly what she was. Out of control. Loving a man who didn’t—who wouldn’t—love her back. She grabbed half a dozen tissues out of the box on the end table and pressed them against her eyelids.
Breathe. Just breathe. She could handle this. She had to. Colton had left her no choice.
“Riley?”
She pulled the tissues away and stared up at the man who’d pulled her together last night … and shattered her this morning.
Colton walked in and stood inside the door. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry about leaving? Sorry about last night? What exactly are you sorry about?”
He gave his head a small shake. “I … I guess about all of it. Mostly about hurting you. I never intended to, Riley. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Then why? Why did you kiss me? Why did you hold me and say the things you did if it was all nothing?”
He held his hands out as he stepped closer. “Things got out of hand last night. Emotions were high. And we went somewhere we shouldn’t have.”
Against her will, another tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m in love with you, Colton. It doesn’t have anything to do with emotions or fear. It’s simple fact. I know my heart.”
“Riley, you only think you’re in love with me. I’m here in the form of your protector. Someone to keep you safe. I’ve seen it happen before.”
“Oh, you’ve had other women fall in love with you on the job before. Is that it? Did you kiss them and tell them you’d be there as long as they needed you? No wonder they think they’re in love with you.”
“No. I’ve never crossed that line. Just with you.”
She stood to face him. “If I’m only in love with you because you’re my big knight in shining armor, how come I don’t havefeelings for Paul? Or Trevor? Trevor took a bullet for me, after all. Why aren’t I fawning all over him?”
“Because Paul and Trevor aren’t available. You’ll see, Riley. Once I’m out of your life for a while, you’ll see it wasn’t me. It was just the idea of me.”
Pain filled every crevice inside of her. “You think you know so much. But you don’t, Colton Blankenship. You don’t know what’s right in front of you.”
“Riley, it would never work with us. Think about it.”
“Think aboutwhat?”
“You and me, we’re from different worlds. Polar opposites of one another.”
“This is about mymoney?”
His sigh came from a deep place. “It’s not the money. It’s the life. Look at all this. This house where you grew up. Look at the events and activities you take part in. Even the clothes you wear. I never owned a tux in my life until I started this job. And if I didn’t have to wear suits for work, I’d live in jeans.”
She glanced down at her denim-covered legs and bulky sweater before looking back up at him. “This has nothing to do with social status.” Her voice trembled. “Or a damsel in distress falling for her rescuer. Admit you’re scared. Isn’t that what you kept telling me to do? Face the fear head-on. Deal with it and let it work for you. Isn’t that what you said?”
His eyes narrowed. “And what is it I’m supposed to be afraid of?”
“You’re afraid you’re going to let someone else into your heart, and they’ll leave you. You’re afraid you’re going to love someone again and lose them. You’re scared, Cole. You know we could have a really great thing. A lasting, maybe forever thing, but you’re afraid. And you can’t move forward until you face it. With me or anybody else.”
“Riley … I don’t know what to say. What to tell you to make this better for you.”
