Page 90 of Mistletoe and Malice
“You weren’t being selfish. You were being human. This is all we know, and, of course, we want our loved ones with us. What I wouldn’t do to have more time with my grandparents who have already gone ahead. But I know they’re in a better place, and that gives me peace.”
“Well, I’m ready to move into the future and stop holding onto the past.”
Silence stretched for a moment. “Maybe with me?” The uncertainty in her quiet voice yanked at his heart.
He tightened his arm around her and closed his eyes. A deep breath in brought her subtle jasmine and ginger fragrance with it. “I can’t imagine anybody else.”
“I can’t imagine being with anybody but you, either.”
He tipped her chin up to lay a gentle kiss on her mouth. “You are so beautiful.”
“I’m kind of a wreck right now, but that was sweet.”
“I love it when you’re natural. You’re a knock-out all dolled up, that’s for sure. But when you’re like this—all Riley—that’s my favorite.”
“You’re my favorite too.” She yawned and snuggled back into him. “I was under the impression you were completely unaffected. By me, I mean.”
“Not since that first night in your dad’s study. When you so graciously called metactical gear.”
“A name you wear proudly, so you told me.”
“I do. I was hooked from that moment, although I didn’t want to admit it. Now I’m honored to be your tactical gear, Riley Hudson.”
“Hmm. And I love being your principal.” A minute later, her even breathing told him she’d drifted off to sleep. Sleep she desperately needed.
After clicking off the lamp beside the sofa, he crossed his feet on the coffee table, closed his eyes, and held her close. She fit him perfectly. So small and so soft, and she smelled so good.
A small niggling of doubt tickled the back of his mind, but he ignored it. He didn’t want to think logically for once. He wanted to live what he’d only experienced in his dreams. Curled up with this woman who’d been nothing but one surprise after another from the first day.
How could she wonder if she affected him? Couldn’t she tell? He’d let go with her as he rarely did, having always prided himself on his ability to hold himself in check. Not let anybody see inside. What he felt. But the moment she’d looked at him with those emerald eyes filled with question, he’d lost that resolve. She’d destroyed it with her utter transparency.
In her sleep, she nestled closer and draped her arm across him, her forehead pressed to the side of his neck. He tightened his hold. So comfortable. So natural. Holding her like this. As if he had a million times before tonight.
“I love you, Colton.”
Her whisper in the dark lifted the veil of sleep that had begun to lower. His eyes slowly opened as the cloud he’d been trying to push away crashed down on him. Now he understood what that doubt had been trying to tell him. What he’d known all along.
And his heart splintered in his chest.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Riley woke to the sun peeking through the drapes in her bedroom. Smiling, she stretched before burrowing deeper under the covers. Her head and heart warred, the joy inside an odd juxtaposition to the memory of all that had happened the night before.
The guilt that she’d put all those people in danger by her mere presence. That she’d ruined the club’s much-anticipated Christmas ball.
That Trevor had taken a bullet meant for her.
Pressing her eyelids tight, she instead forced her heart’s memory over her head’s. Colton pulling her tight against him. The gentleness of his kiss before desire swept them up into a sea of sensation. His strength of character to pull back before things went too far.
She’d fallen asleep in his arms, awakening sometime in the wee hours to find herself being carried into her bedroom and placed gently on her bed. He’d pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her softly before she drifted back to sleep.
Rolling over onto her back, she smiled up at the ceiling. The next days and weeks promised to be new and exciting. Learning more about Colton, hopefully being drawn into his family as he’d already been with hers. Growing into whatever God would have them become.
She sat up and swung her legs over the side, catching her first glimpse of the bedside clock. “Eleven!”
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so late, if ever. Apparently, her parents had decided to stay in and watch the church service on live stream. Not a bad decision, since she didn’t wish to endanger more lives. Perhaps Colton would like to watch it together.
After showering, drying her hair, and dabbing on a bit of makeup, she pulled on a pair of 501 jeans and an oversized red-and-white-striped sweater. Deciding against shoes, she wore only a pair of fuzzy red socks.
