Page 47 of Mistletoe and Malice
Dropping her hand, she crossed her arms over her middle. “Theresa’s living every day whole and healthy with the God she loves. Growing up the son of a pastor, you probably know a lot of stuff in your head. But God is all about the heart. And He wants to hear from you. Just simple words. Tell Him exactly how you feel. He already knows, but He’s waiting for you to give it over so He can heal it.”
His gaze never wavered.Lord, open his heart to You.Help him find his way back. Use me any way You see fit to help this amazing man.
“I’m going to head back up. There’s some of Hilda’s cherry pie left over in the fridge and ice cream in the freezer. Help yourself to anything.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” His usually confident voice was little more than a husky whisper. “Thanks, Riley.” He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “For everything.”
“Any time. You know where I live.”
He chuckled. “That I do. Good night.”
“’Night.”
She walked back through the house, her pace quickening as she neared the stairs. In her study, she sat down at her laptop.
How many others?
Chapter Twenty
Colton gave Riley another nudge with his elbow, and her eyes snapped open. She threw him an embarrassed grin and turned her attention back to the preacher. Apparently, she’d had as little sleep as he had after their chat into the wee hours. The scene at her house that afternoon had probably kept her awake, but he’d lain in the dark thinking about what she said.
Theresa’s living every day whole and healthy with the God she loves.
Lying in bed, picturing Theresa healthy—her lush hair falling around her shoulders, the brightness in her blue eyes, her full-throated laughter—had brought peace to that place in his heart where she still remained. That place he’d held closed and protected these last four years, where the hurt festered and burned.
Before Riley painted a new image for him. An image of Theresa returned to the joyful soul she’d always been.
He’d blamed God for taking her, but she’d been in such pain, so sick. A mere shell of the woman she’d once been by the time she went … home. Maybe in the grip of his grief, he’d perceivedit all wrong. Maybe God had been acting out of mercy and grace, not cruelty or to punish him for some unknown wrong he’d committed. He’d been gifted with ten years of marriage to her, and, even with all the ups and downs, he wouldn’t trade that time for anything. Even knowing how it ended.
Unlike last Sunday, sitting here in this pew with Riley and her family, this week he’d tuned into the pastor’s message while keeping watch over the crowd. And something inside of him, deep down, stirred as if waking from a deep sleep. Riley must have noticed him glancing at her Bible because she slipped it over to rest partially on his leg. As he followed along with the reading, the words jumped off the page.
I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.
His father had read this passage from Lamentations at the funeral. But Colton had been closed off, so angry, and in so much pain, he hadn’t heard, hadn’t comprehended, what his father had tried to convey. That God was still there. That God wasn’t punishing him. That God had shown His mercy by healing Theresa on the other side of this life.
Was he ready now to let go? To let God back in? Could he trust without question?
As Pastor Troy began his ending prayer, Riley pulled the Bible back and closed it before reaching for her handbag. Their eyes met, and he took her hand to lead her out of the sanctuary to the waiting SUV.
“Thanks for keeping me awake in church.” She stifled a yawn as she buckled her seatbelt. “Three hours of sleep doesn’t cut it.”
“Three hours? Did you work all night?”
She shrugged. “Most of it, I guess.”
“Because of what happened at your house?”
“No. Maybe.” She sighed. “I don’t know. Just a lot to do. A lot on my mind.”
“If you need anything?—”
“I know. And I appreciate it. I need to work some stuff out on my own, but I’ll let you know if there’s anything.”
He nodded and faced front again, catching Paul’s concerned glance in the rearview mirror. His co-workers didn’t need to know about their middle-of-the-night chat. That he’d shared things with her, confided in her, in ways he hadn’t with anybody since Theresa.
He’d crossed a line and wasn’t sure how to get back. Or if he even wanted to. He enjoyed this newfound friendship with Riley, while at the same time warned himself not to get so close he couldn’t be of the best use to her.
After Sunday lunch with the Hudson family, she let them go, assuring them she would be home for the duration, and then retreated to her rooms upstairs. He took advantage of the quiet afternoon to call his parents before giving in to a much-needed nap, followed by laps in the indoor pool and a long, hot shower. Living for the time being at the Hudson estate was akin to a vacation at a luxury resort.
