I gasp, drop a few more inches, and...
“Gotcha.” Noah catches me again, this time in a ballroom-style dip.
His face is less than two inches away from mine, the position of our bodies straight out of the moment in an old movie when the hero is about to kiss the girl.
Please, please, let him kiss the girl!
The warmth of Noah’s cinnamon-scented breath draws nearer, and then... he pulls me upright, clears his throat, and takes hold of my hand. “Let’s go down to the pond.”
I nod, but insecurity trills through my shallow breaths. “Okay.”
It’s good, what we have. I need to accept that our version of the friendzone is all Noah wants from me. It should be enough.
I want more.
But if he doesn’t... I can accept that.
Eventually.
A thin top layer of snow has melted into ice. Our boots crunch through it. Above, the secretive stars whisper in winks of glitter over the white-covered ground. My breath fogs the air. My nose and cheeks are already cold, but warmth pulses through my gloved fingers, laced with his.
“Careful, now.”
Noah leads me a few steps out onto the wide dock. A darker path—sand, I think—is sprinkled on the snow-covered dock, providing a less-slippery surface. A little further down, a bench awaits, closer to the edge.
“Our friendship has grown a lot over the past few weeks, don’t you think?” In the clear night air, Noah’s voice seems shockingly loud, even though he’s speaking quietly.
I nod. “Mm-hmm.”
“And tonight I... Well, I...” Noah places his hand on the small of my back and says, “Would you like to sit down?” He leads me to the bench.
I bend to sit, but when he says, “Wait.” I straighten my legs.
Noah moves directly in front of me. “At practice tonight, I...” He turns his gaze up toward the stars, down to the snow, back toward the car—everywhere but at me. “What I mean is... the kiss. On stage.”
My gut clenches. Here it comes. This is when he makes sure I understand we’re only ever going to be friends and that our stage kiss was just acting. “What about it?”
“I can do better.”
I blink.What?
“I thought the scene went pretty well by the end of practice,” I say, feeling my forehead bunch in a frown beneath my stocking hat. “You looked surprised, every time. But... you’re supposed to. Did you think Liesl came on too strong?”
“No, it’s not that.” Noah shakes his head. “You were perfect. Liesl’ssupposedto come on strong. The scene was great. Really. But... I just don’t want you to think that’s how I would kiss you, ifIkissed you. Me, I mean. Not Rolf.”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“That’s not how I wanted our first kiss to go. I mean, on stage, with an audience... critiqued by a director?” He massages his temples with gloved fingers. “I knew it was coming, but I didn’t think he’d actually make us kiss at rehearsaltonight. I wanted our first kiss to be... special. And... I wanted to be the one to initiate it. I’m sorry.”
Our first kiss.I cannot contain my smile. This is not some “Let’s keep it in the friendzone” speech.
It is exactly the opposite.
My heart soars, but when I note the insecurity in his expression, it turns over and melts like warm caramel.
“Noah.” I place my mitten-encased hands on either side of his face and angle my gaze upward, meeting his eyes. “Liesl kissed Rolf, and Rolf responded exactly as he should have. But I’ve never kissedyou. And you’ve never kissedme.”
A smile quirks Noah’s lips and chases the nervousness from his eyes. “So that’s the way you want to play it, huh?”