Page 40 of Mistletoe Dreams
Was this really what she wanted? Did she want to try her hand at getting back into the fast lane, resurrecting her career and realizing those dreams?
Or was this new Mistletoe Meadows dream really what she wanted?
Or maybe she was asking the wrong question.
Lord, I've always been about me and what I want. And there's a part of me—I can't deny it—that feels embarrassed that Stephanie is going to come and see that I'm not living up to everything that everyone thought I was going to be when I was in medical school and residency. But I want to do what You want. No matter what everyone around me thinks.
As soon as she said that, she felt a peace steal over her. She hadn't decided to come to Mistletoe Meadows as much as God had orchestrated the events that had led to this. And the knowledge that she was right where she was supposed to be, with who she was supposed to be with, settled over her like a warm, soft blanket as Ben got out of his truck and walked around to her.
She smiled, and before she thought about it, she shut her door, hurried to him and wrapped her arms around him.
He seemed a little shocked, since he froze for a moment. Then his arms went around hers as he said, "Well, I feel like we've been parted for weeks or months instead of ten minutes."
"A lot has happened in ten minutes," she said, her face pressed against his chest, and she breathed deeply of his warm, masculine scent.
"A lot?" he asked, sounding confused.
"I guess in my mind I've been around the world and back, and I was just praying that I would do what God wanted instead of what I wanted. And as I prayed that, I just felt such a peace settle over me that everything that has been going on is exactly the right thing. Even though it represents such a mindset shift for me."
"You were wondering whether you wanted to stay in a small town? Be a small-town doctor?"
"I wasn't really questioning it as much as I had some doubts." She pulled back but kept her arms around him. He felt so solid and warm and perfect, she didn't ever want to let go. "I got a phone call from someone I was with in residency. She's got a big new prestigious position at a hospital in North Carolina. Her career is on a fast upward trajectory, and I was a little embarrassed to think that she's coming to see me, and I'm definitely not anywherenear that."
Obviously her words had an effect on him. His face fell, and he loosened his grip around her, although his arms didn't drop.
"I don't want to hold you back if that's what you want."
"That's just it. I don't want to do what I want. I want what God wants. And as soon as I started praying about it, I just felt a peace that Mistletoe Meadows was right, you are definitely right, and this small town and my position here is exactly where I'm supposed to be. There's no doubt in my mind. I just wavered for a bit, you know?"
He nodded slowly, but his eyes searched hers as though he were trying to figure out if she really meant what she was saying.
It was probably instinct on her part, but she took her hands and cupped his cheeks. "Now, I feel like since I allowed you to follow me the entire way out here, I ought to get some kind of reward out of this." She lifted a brow at him and watched while her words sank in. She smiled as understanding slowly dawned over his face.
"A reward?" he asked, and she thought he pretty much knew what she meant.
"Yes. You owe me a kiss good night. After all, I did allow you to take me out, pay for my meal, and follow me home. It's the least you can do."
He grinned, and then he obliged the pressure from her hands and lowered his head slowly.
"There's something wrong with your logic, but I'm not going to argue," he murmured as he closed the space between them and kissed her gently at first, but then his arms tightened, and she wrapped hers around him, and it was quite a while before he lifted his head.
"I don't think that was enough payment," he murmured, his eyes still closed but his lips smiling.
"Me either," she said, matching his smile and wondering why she'd thought, even for a second, that a prestigious career and a big hospital could possibly hold a candle to what she had right now.
Chapter Nineteen
"So I was wondering what you thought of Dr. Reynolds?"
Ben tried his best to not look nervous or concerned about what Mason's answer was going to be.
It was Sunday afternoon, and they were spending the entire afternoon down by the river. He'd seen Hannah in church that morning with her friend, Dr. Stephanie Brunswick, who looked every inch the successful doctor, even though she had been dressed in church clothes and not scrubs, and there had been no white lab coats in sight.
He'd wondered again if Hannah was going to regret her decision to give up any hope of a big career and would be happy in Mistletoe Meadows.
Or was she going to be like Peyton and decide after they were married that she wanted something else?
He was jumping the gun, because they hadn't discussed marriage at all. But he supposed at his age, he wasn't interested in dating unless it led to that, and maybe he was crazy, but he thought that Hannah was the same.
