Page 35 of Freeing the Wild
I scan the kitchen cabinets, and when I see a bottle of expensive bourbon in the bottom corner of one of them, I breathe a sigh of relief.Definitely liking my new almost brother-in-law more as I read the accompanying note.
“This shit is potent, drink with caution.”
Perfect.
I pop the corked top and tag a swig right from the bottle.Then another.It’s the bourbon I had at their house in the fall.Damn, that’s good.
I pour a small glass and decide a change of scenery is best to calm my frayed nerves.Tossing on my slippers and my heavy coat, I move out to the front porch.The moment I breathe in the late-night winter air, the heaviness in my chest subsides a little.I sit on one of the two rocking chairs and take in my surroundings while listening to the creak of the chair against the wooden floor and some coyotes howling.I use the therapy notes milling about in my head to imagine what I’m going through as a rain cloud, full and heavy.I picture the Ashby family, and use that to imagine clouds parting, letting a stream of sunlight in.Then I imagine how the warmth of that sun would feel on my face.I blink after a few seconds—feeling calmer and more settled—before glancing at Haden’s cabin.His truck still isn’t there, and I almost wish it was.I have no idea why, but it would make me feel a little more settled knowing he was home.
I nearly jump out of my skin when my phone vibrates with a text.Too fucking quiet here.I flip it over and see it’s from Dax.Hard pass.
But over the next thirty minutes he keeps texting.And then a few minutes later, he calls me.
“I’m on R&R time,” I remind him when I answer.I was feeling lighter than I’ve felt for eight months before his message popped up.
“Cassie, you’re gonna want to look at the video I just sent you.And don’t freak out.We can get ahead of this.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Haden
I’m almost positive I could hear Cassie crying on her first night here.Her window was cracked just enough when I got home from Penny’s ranch, and those small whimpers damn near ripped a hole wide open in the armor I’ve spent five months building up.I couldn’t put the sound out of my head all through my supper—enough that, by the time I got out of a steaming shower, I decided to google the show where the trampling occurred with the hope of seeing more videos than the one Dusty showed me.I didn’t come up with much.And I’m still none the wiser as to what she saw or where she was when that woman died.
I started out my front door twice to check on her, but both times I stopped myself, pacing the length of my porch in frustration instead.After a few minutes I finally gave my head a shake and went back inside.I’m sure the last person she wants to see when she’s upset is her former one-night hookup who was sort of an asshole to her the moment she came back.No matter what I thought I felt, any spark I had for her, she’s made it clear she didn’t share that connection to me.It’s just a song.
The weekend passes slow enough that my head is a clusterfuckby the time Monday morning rolls around.I worked all weekend at the rescue center with Penny when I wasn’t needed here.It’s easier to push Cassie’s sad-looking eyes from my mind when I’m at Penny’s.But even with the escape, I barely slept because, as I soon discovered, Cassie Spencer is a night owl.And her bedroom window in Stardust is directly across from mine.So I can see when her light goes on and sometimes I can see the silhouette of her through the curtains when she’s in her room.When that happens, I have to force myself to look away, but it doesn’t stop me from imagining her in all the ways I’ve tried not to.Christ, it’s gonna be a long-ass month.
I’m at the barn by six a.m.on Monday, pacing as I wait for Cassie.I’m as restless as one of our new colts and scold myself for not letting Dusty take her riding instead of me.I should’ve kept my fucking mouth shut.But the moment he smiled at her with that dopey grin, my previous decision to stay away from her went out of my head and I pounced.
By 7:15, I’m going out of my mind.By 7:45, it’s obvious Cassie just isn’t coming, so I leave in a huff to go about my day.And what a day it is.One of Penny’s rescue horses—the most recent one she’s brought in, Marlow—needs hydration fluids.Poor thing is barely eating anything and is getting weaker by the day.We don’t know enough about her backstory to know why yet.She won’t go near Penny’s other horses, and she doesn’t trust me or Penny at all.To add to my stress, our feed supply order here on the ranch came a shitload short of barley due to snowstorms in the north, so I had to send Dusty to the local feed store which will mean paying double.And to top it all off, my dad hasbeen texting me all day asking me when I’m coming to finish off the roof seal with him.By the third text I finally give in and answer.
DAD
Can you also pick up another can of seal?I’m a little short right now.
We’ve talked about this before.You have to start saving a little so you can handle these things.I have my own things I’m saving for and the house is getting older, which means it’ll need more work in other places soon.
Normally I wouldn’t bring up his lack of responsibility or get into it with him like this, but today I just don’t give a fuck.
DAD
Unwinding at the track is how I relax.You’re young and strong aside from your bum knee.I need your help from time to time with this house.I can’t afford to sell it or retire.
Jesus Christ.It’s been seven years and I’ve never heard the end of it.His underlying message?He can’t retire because I got hurt.
“Someone shit in your cereal?”Wade asks as I slide my phone back into my pocket.We’re about to start sorting feed with the boys.
“Just seems like one of those days where everything is going wrong.”
“How was the morning?How’d Cassie do?”
I chuckle lightly.“She never showed.”
Wade’s brow furrows as he thinks for a beat.“I was worriedabout that.Ivy was with her over the weekend.Said she’s been having a rough time.”
“Hmmm,” I retort noncommittally.
“Can we shoot straight for a minute?”Wade asks, pausing his work.
