Page 96 of Freeing the Wild
I fold my arms over my chest and Haden continues.“I could see it in his face within a minute of meeting him.Trust me.”
“I know what you’re doing, Haden.I know it’s easier to say goodbye if we’re angry.But that will only lead us to regret.”I drop my arms and make my way over to him, tipping his chin up with my finger.“I don’t want to leave on a bad note.I don’t want this time together to have been for nothing, because I …” I take a deep breath.“I don’t connect with people like this.And I have loved every minute we’ve spent together.But I have to go.”
The look in his eyes is one of despair and I can see the littleboy whose mama left him all those years ago.He’s in there looking up at me as I ready to leave him too.
“I wish you would let me just say see you later.Because I hope I’ll be back, Haden.”I offer him a soft smile.
Haden doesn’t smile; instead, he just wraps his arms around my legs and leans his head on my stomach.I hold him to me, feeling the weight of this sorrow as I run my fingers through his hair.
“I love you, Cassie,” he says in a muffled whisper.I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe.“I know it’s soon.But when you know, you know.Hell, I think I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you all those months ago, as you did your best to tame that unruly horse.”He laughs, but his voice breaks.My heart breaks along with it.
“Me hoping you’ll stay is like you trying to ride that horse.All I can do is let you run free and see if it’s meant to be, to see if you’ll come back to me one day.”
I gulp back a sob as tears spill over my cheeks.He can’t possibly know it, but he’s the first man since my daddy died to tell me that he loves me and who I’ve really loved back with my whole heart.
“Maybe one day,” I say with as much strength as I can muster.He turns his face and looks up at me.
“Everyone leaves, Cass.But I’ll always be your cheerleader from right here on this ranch.Hell, maybe I’ll even be cheering you from my own someday.”He sniffs.“The point is, I’llalwaysbe here.I’ll be your safe space to land.No questions asked, Princess.”
I run my hand through his hair.This bear of a man looks up at me with glassy eyes and I realize I’ve never loved anyone more.
I bend down and kiss his lips softly.Wishing with everything in me that time was different, or circumstance.Then I unclasp his arms and back up a step.
“You’re gonna get another hit song out of this, aren’t you?”he asks with a smirk.
I take my bottom lip between my teeth.“Maybe.”
“You gonna use only the good notes?”
I laugh through my tears.“Always.”
“Don’t forget me, Princess.”
I swipe a tear from my cheek as I head for his front door.“I could never, ever forget you, Cowboy.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Cassie
One week later
I run backstage and, the second I’m away from the crowd, I burst into tears.I’ve just performed my whole set at Red Rock—opening for Grayson Booth, a really popular country star—and I made it through!
I followed all the steps I’ve learned to cope with my anxiety around being onstage.I pictured the storm and walking through it.I pictured the other side of that storm—as I sang into my mic in the centre of the stage—and I fucking made it.I let myself picture Haden’s face as I performed and it settled me to my core.Especially when I sanghissong.
I take a breath before pulling my phone out and selecting my chat with Haden.But I stop as I stare at the screen and a pang of need stabs through me.He’s not mine.I have to let him go.
“Amazing show,” Cherry says, breaking me out of my trance.She scoops me up into a hug.“Boss bitch is back.”
I return her hug, breathless.“I hope so.”
She smiles wide at me.“We missed the hell out of you.How are you feeling?”
I nod.“I’m okay.”I only thought of that poor woman seven times in the short set.
“Excellent job, Cassie.Told you that you were ready.”I hear Dax’s voice before I see him.He scoops me into a hug when he reaches me.It’s both unfeeling and cold.
“Thanks, it wasn’t easy but I feel like I’m getting—”
