Page 95 of Freeing the Wild
“You need a surprise.Something happy to keep you going.So I’m gonna tell you … We’re coming to Wagon Wheel,” Ivy says, looking at my mama and then back to me.
I laugh.“You can’t leave Billi.”
“I won’t.Wade will come with me and stay back at the hotel.He’s already agreed to it,” Ivy says, hugging me tight as I swallow back tears.
“Alright, I’ll make sure you have passes set aside.”
My mama lets out a laugh.“Well, aren’t we all a sight for sore eyes right now?”
All three of us are red-nosed, puffy-eyed messes.I start to laugh too before Ivy joins in.When our laughter putters out I hug them both again, knowing there is nothing more to say for now.
“See y’all soon,” I tell them, drying my cheeks as they pull their boots on.
“Twenty-six days,” Mama says, blowing me a kiss as she closes the cabin door behind them.My heart sinks as she does.Because, for the first time in a long time, I know I’m really gonna miss my family.
I make my way to the cabinet and pull out a glass, filling it with water as I check the clock.I have to meet Dax in an hour.I take a drink as I think about my therapist’s words—aboutlessening my anxiety, byfacingdifficult or hard situations, instead of running from them.I can’t hurt Haden like that again.It’ll break my heart into a million pieces.
I take a deep breath, put my hypothetical big girl pants on and swing open the door.I don’t even get fully down the steps before Haden is outside his cabin door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a big, black, hooded sweatshirt.
He walks so quickly to meet me I’m in his arms before I can even take two more steps.
“I wasn’t waiting one more second to come talk to you.I’m so fucking sorry I hit him, Princess.”
“He deserved it,” I tell him honestly.
“I’m not sorry I lost my shit.But I am sorry I fucked with your career,” Haden murmurs into my hair.
I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe him in.The pain of leaving him is overwhelming, and I’m finding it hard to breathe.
“No, Haden.I’m sorry,” I say, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck.I pull back and look up at him.“Can we talk?”
I gesture to his house.Seeing all my shit packed up will only make what comes next harder.
When we get inside Haden runs a hand through his hair and takes a seat on his sofa.I remain standing.
“You’re not going to sit?”
I shake my head.“I came to say goodbye.I have to go.I have dates Dax committed me to in April, small shows where I can ease back into being onstage.Plus Wagon Wheel at the end of the month, which is a huge opportunity.”
“I know,” he says.“That’s the weekend of the benefit concert here.”
“Evan is playing the Saturday night before me at Wagon Wheel and then he’ll head here.”
Haden’s brow furrows and he bounces his knee.
“And what about when Dax books you back-to-back like you were before?What about when you’re tired and wrung out but your manager isn’t there to care?Who cares aboutyouthen?”
“I don’t trust him like I did, it’s true.But I can’t run away from my career either.I hope you can understand that.”I smile sadly at him.“I’m trying to break that habit.And I should have told you I was planning on going back a little early, but I’ve … never been happy like I have been these last few weeks.Selfishly, I didn’t want it to end.”
Haden’s eyes soften and I see relief there.
“Dax promises that he knows my boundaries now.He doesn’t want another breakdown any more than I do.Things are different now.”
Haden scoffs and mutters something under his breath but I ignore it.I won’t leave Silver Pines angry.
“I have to finish my album, and Wagon Wheel will put me one step closer to making new connections and writing full-time.”
“Cassie.”He says my name as if he knows something I don’t.“He isn’t going to let you write full-time.I know men like him.I’m related to one.You’re his meal ticket.I’m sorry to break it to you, but your wellbeing isn’t what’s important to him.His bottom line is.”
