Page 43 of Freeing the Wild
“Just thinking about my place, and my plans for the future,” I tell her semi-honestly.
“You’ve always got a place here,” she says, looking around the outside of the barn.“And hopefully one day this will all be yours too.”
“You’ll never retire.”I smirk.She never stops, and says it’s what keeps her young.
“I’m thinking about it.”She tosses the cup back in the bucket of salt and grabs a rake to pull it through the thin icy layer forming over the driveway.“This place is my safe haven.But it also brings me joy to see you—the next generation—thriving here.You have a gift with these horses, Haden.It doesn’t matter whether you finished schooling or not.”
We drift into the barn and I grab the haynets I made up earlier, including one with a red tag sprinkled with Valerian root for Zeke.It helps with his anxiety.
I approach him slowly and rub his head between his eyes.“That’s it, bud.You know I’m here to feed ya, don’t you?”He nuzzles closer to me.
“See.You’re a natural,” Penny says as she watches.Her arm bothers her now, so hanging these heavy bags is something she can’t do anymore.But she still likes to follow me around to make sure I’m doing it right.
“Maybe.Or maybe he just likes that I have his food.”
Penny backs up.
“You’ve got the last one?”She nods to the end stall.“I have to get off my feet tonight.”
“Are they still tensing up on you?”
“Only when I wear these boots and when it’s this damn cold.”She winks and turns, heading for the barn door.“Oh, and Haden.This distraction … if she’s got you looking that deep in thought, she’s probably worth thinking about.”
I scoff and shake my head.“Night, Pen.”
She laughs lightly, knowing she’s got me pegged.
“See ya tomorrow, honey.”
I turn back to Zeke as he starts to eat.
“What does she know?”I whisper, although I wonder if Penny’s right.Ihavebeen thinking about Cassie since our ride this afternoon, and I can’t stop thinking about the way her eyeslooked when she thanked me.Christ.She’s only been back four days and I’m already giving in like a house of cards.
The next morning, I get to work at six, expecting it to be quiet.It’s still dark this time of year and the air is ice-cold in the early hours.More snow is expected this week and Wade is saying a storm is brewing.It’s been a long damn time since we’ve had a real snowstorm around these parts, so there will be extra to do to prepare both here and Penny Lane for the weather, especially because Wade and Ivy are headed to Florida for two days to watch Angel’s Wings race, which means we’ll be light on the ground.I sip my coffee as I cover the last few meters to the main barn.I walked the short trek from my cabin this morning to give myself time to think.To get my head straight.I need to be able to balance the pull I’ve felt for Cassie since the day I met her.I need to think logically about her.I haven’t been with a woman since her, so maybe my feelings are heightened.But staying away from her isn’t an option right now either.I’ve barely slept and I’m jumping right back into the fire with her, taking her riding again this morning.I could get someone else to do it, but I’m willing to admit that I don’t want to.
I don’t even have a chance to let that truth resonate before I’m jumping out of my skin.
“’Bout time you showed up.”Cassie’s voice fills my ears and I look down to my flannel jacket that now has a good bit of my coffee on it.
“Fuck me to tears, woman.What are you doing here so early?”I look from my jacket to her.
Well, shit, there goes every logical thought in my head.Cassie Spencer looks like a goddamn breath of fresh air, and better than I’ve seen her look since she got back here.Her hair is shiny and falls over her shoulders in waves under that same tattered cowboy hat she wore yesterday.She’s in a warm fleece coat, mittens, and another pair of those killer jeans with her cowboy boots.There’s not a stitch of makeup on her face.
She pops a hand on her hip and the smug smile she’s wearing because she beat me here takes my breath away.
“Just about ready to come down to drag you out of bed, actually.You ready to ride, Cowboy?”
“So what, you just had to wear it anyway, cut down the back?”I ask Cassie as we ride along the near-frozen water on the east side of Silver Pines.There isn’t a sound except our laughter as we ride.The snow acts like padding over the pines and we’ve been counting cardinals as we go.Cassie says her dad used to say they were good luck.
She’s been telling me about the weird shit that happens in the music industry, and this album cover in particular where they sent her a leather strapless shirt three sizes too small, so her manager ended up cutting the back and fastening it with a shoelace.
“Yep, took a five-hundred-dollar designer piece we were supposed to send back to them and turned it into trash.But we got the shot.”She laughs.“Designers think all musicians are a size two.”
I watch as she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear under her hat, her right hand holding the reins as she watches the creek.“This girl likes her ice cream so I’ll never be a size two,” she says.
“Good,” I blurt out.Her eyes meet mine.She smiles softly, taking her bottom lip between her teeth, and I look ahead.“Women should feel comfortable being however they’re meant to be is all.Fuck them for making you feel like you should be something different.”
“Tell that to the thousands of people who feel they have a right to comment on my looks just because I’m in this industry.It’s terrible.It’s like they take your biggest insecurity and put it online for others to say, ‘Huh, I never noticed that about her before, but now that you mention it, she does close her eyes while she sings, she does tap her foot like she’s nervous.Her assdoeslook extra-curvy in those pants, maybe sheshouldwork out more.’”
