Page 113 of Freeing the Wild
My dad holds his hand up.“No, I’m … slowing down on that a little.”
My eyebrows shoot up but I let him continue.
“I’m also staying away from the track.I joined a darts league at the legion.Trying to take on some more wholesome hobbies.”
“That’s great, Dad.”
He smiles, and I realize how weathered he is.How much older he’s getting.
“Look, Haden.Life wasn’t very fair to us.But somewhere along the lines of your mother leaving and me trying my damndest to raise you when I had no idea what I was doing, I … I forgot she left you too.I came to say that I’m sorry.For all of it.I know I wasn’t there for you when I should have been.I’ve done a lot of soul-searching over the last few weeks and you were right.I do have to let the past go.”
I stand in shock.I have no idea what to say so I simply reply with: “Thank you.”
“I did push you to play ball,” he continues.“But that wasn’t because I thought you weren’t good enough to do what you wanted.It was about me.It was because I always hoped that someday she’d come back and see that I made you into the best of the best.She’d see I didn’t need her.That I wasn’t a failure …” He looks down and swallows.“But I did need her.I really fucking needed her.”
At these words, I close the space between us and hug him.
“I don’t know, Dad.And we did alright, didn’t we?Just the two of us?”
I think of all the things we did together that weren’t terrible.The days we spent when I was a teen working in the small yard before ordering pizza and catching a game.All the hours he spent teaching me how to drive and working on his old car.And the pride he wore on his face in the stands when I did play ball.Even when I played like shit, he was there telling me tomorrow was a new day.All those things I’d forgotten because of how bad our relationship had become.I look up at him now—this older man, broken and admitting he was wrong.
“I’d uh … really like to start fresh,” he says.His jaw tenses as he looks away.“Try at least to be a better man.Try to be a better dad.Even though you don’t really need a dad now.”
“We can’t live in our past mistakes.We can only move forward.Today, we start afresh.”I let him go and he wipes his eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”I smile.“I’m happy, Dad.Happier than I’ve ever been.I’m gonna marry this woman one day.Penny Lane will be our life and I want you to be a part of that.Kids need their grandparents.And I’ll always need a dad.”
“I heard she was back in town.”I give him a confused look.“Jo told me … I always get the gossip from her.”
“Cassie’s not performing anymore.She’s doing what she loves, which is working with me and making music.That’s how it’ll stay for a while at least.”
My dad nods and looks at me with sincerity.Then he says something I never thought I’d hear him say.
“I’m proud of you, son.”He pats me on the shoulder.“I know I never told you that enough.I was bitter for a long time.And I’m just grateful you’re willing to give me another shot now.”
“We’re family.You don’t run out of shots, Dad.”I set my jaw and give him another quick hug.My dad and I have never shared emotions, and maybe years of me keeping my feelings to myself was wrong too.But like everyone has been telling me, when something is meant to be, it always works out.I’m really starting to believe that.
My dad lets out a low whistle over my shoulder and I turn to see Cassie coming down the wide, hundred-year-old staircase.The theme of Cole and Ginger’s wedding is 1920s high roller, which means Cassie is poured into a navy fringed sleeveless flapper dress that goes all the way to her ankles.The look is complete with navy gloves, and her hair is side-swept into a low bun and decorated with a navy headpiece with a gold feather at the side.She looks like something dreams are made of.Mydreams.
“You look beautiful, darlin’,” my dad says.
“Thank you, Jim.”
“Every eye in the place will be on you two.”
I shrug with a smile.“Don’t remind her how good I look.She gets jealous.”
Cassie scoffs and smacks me.“Bite your tongue.You’re lucky I’m even taking your rough-and-tumble cowboy ass.”
My dad chuckles and then claps his hands.“Well, I’ll let you two get to it.”
He lifts his hat off the hook and puts it back on his head.“Maybe I could come by next week?You could give me the full tour of this place?”
“Sure thing.”
He winks as he closes the door behind him.I walk back toward Cassie and wrap my arms around her to kiss her.
