Page 10 of What Is Love
“You’re quiet,” Brandon said, breaking the silence that had taken over the moment we’d left his house.
What am I supposed to say to someone I’m being forced to date?
Remembering Mother’s order made me internally wince. I needed to make him happy. I needed to be perfect for him.
“You’ve always been a quiet girl,” he added.
Less talking meant fewer lies I’d have to tell.
“What I mean to say is, you’re even more quiet than normal.”
He didn’t know me enough to know what my normal was. The version of me at school, at parties, was who I was expected to be. I supposed that wasn’t his fault.
Am I being too judgmental?
Brandon parked in front of Tristen’s large, modern house that had way too many windows. After he turned off the engine, he turned in his seat slightly to face me. “I understand that tonight was a lot. You were obviously blindsided.”
I wondered if he’d known what was going to happen tonight—our arrangement. If he had, I wasn’t going to feel bad about being too quick to judge.
“Clearly, our parents see our families coming together as mutually beneficial. I can’t exactly say I was unhappy about their decision when they talked to me about it. I’ve had feelings for you for a while.”
Well, that absolved my guilt. If only that didn’t make me feel worse.Alonewas the best word to describe what I was feeling on top of everything else. Alone in this situation where I was no more than chattel.
Brandon let out a heavy sigh that made me want to roll my eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that we should make the best of the situation.” He gently grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles while he gave me his golden-boy grin. “Give me a chance to woo you.”
I would have gagged if I hadn’t been afraid of the consequences. Despite my best efforts to suppress who I was and what I knee-jerkingly wanted to do, my body always seemed to rebel at the worst times. Right now, it was making my eye twitch. I had to quickly look down so he wouldn’t see.
Maybe what he said would have been romantic if I had feelings for him or was attracted to him in the slightest. He was just too perfect. He was handsome, came from money, was a great athlete and student. He was the ideal man…to my mother. That was what tainted everything about him. That and the fact that I was being forced to be with him.
Trying to convince me to give him a chance to woo me told me he knew I wasn’t into him—knew I wasn’t happy being forced into a relationship with him. I looked back up and met his amber eyes. There was excitement in them and triumph.
How lucky he is to get what he wants.
There was very little I wouldn’t have given to fucking scream into the abyss right now.
“Okay.” That word was nothing more than my survival.
Whether he could sense my dismay or not, his boyish grin turned into a happy one. “Good.” He released my hand. “Wait there. I’m going to get your door.”
He quickly climbed out of the car. As soon as he shut his door, I exhaled heavily and tried to swallow despite how tight mythroat felt. I wouldn’t cry, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have the urge. I’d just learned over time that tears never helped me in any way.
How far am I expected to go to make him happy?
I shook my head to make that intrusive thought go away. It didn’t matter if Brandon saw me. Maybe he’d think I was crazy and not want me anymore. Then I thought better. Him not wanting me would backfire for me badly. I couldn’t stop this from happening. There was no way out.
Right away, he took my hand again after opening my door. He was obviously trying to help me out of the car, but everything about it made me want to cringe. Purse in hand, I climbed out. He closed the door and I tried to pull my hand free. His grip tightened, stilling me. When he felt that I wouldn’t pull away anymore, he laced his fingers with mine.
He looked from our hands to me with another grin. “This okay?”
I nodded despite the voice inside my head screamingno.
The sun had set a few hours ago, which meant the party would be in full swing. With the amount of people hanging around out front and the music loud enough to be heard from the bottom of Tristen’s long driveway, it undoubtedly was.
As we walked through the open front door, the noise made the air feel like it was vibrating. There were people everywhere. Most were from Kendry. Some, I could tell, were from the other side of the bridge. Beer, a mixture of different colognes and perfumes, and weed filled the air.
“Hey, Lottie!”
“Brandon, bro, it’s about time you showed up!”
