Page 76 of What Is Love
When I didn’t answer right away, Roe said, “Wy?”
I opened my eyes to find Wyatt wearing a torn look. “I think I’ve betrayed her trust enough. Besides, I don’t know much.”
“Mac was acting out of it today,” Reid said, sounding a little angry. “She won’t tell me what’s wrong, but I know it has to do with whatever happened with you three yesterday. So somebody better start talking.”
Wyatt cursed. “It’s not Lottie’s fault. She doesn’t know about your and Mac’s past.”
Roe stood up. “What do you mean by that?” He looked down at me as if he’d come to some conclusion. “Someone’s been hurting you.”
I stood, putting my hands up. “Wait. I don’t understand what is going on. What is wrong with Mac? What is this about Reid and her past?”
“My dad used to beat the shit out of me, my sister, and my mother,” Reid snapped, his words sharp like they were meant to cut me for even making him voice them.
I just stood there, shocked, as they did.
“Until one day I tried to get help. He nearly killed me for it. My mother finally found some fucking courage and took me to the hospital. After that, there was no hiding what he was doing to us. I told every fucking person in scrubs and a police uniform what he’d done and had been doing. He’s now in prison.”
One word after another, cut after cut. I felt frozen there, unable to move as my secrets bled out. His past. My reality. My heart broke for him, Mac, and their mother. I wouldn’t wish the fear I felt every day on my worst enemy. At the same time, a tiny, ugly part of me was envious that they’d gotten away. They were free.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Reid and the rage pouring off of him. “What did he drink?” I shouldn’t have asked, but I felt like I had been granted an opportunity to not feel so alone.
“Why do you think he drank?” he questioned. “You don’t have to have a drinking problem to be an abusive piece of shit.”
I didn’t feel like I was in my body. I felt like an outsider watching myself answer, “Because it’s always worse when they drink.”
That time, my words cut him, if his stricken look was anything to go by. So many emotions and thoughts showed in his whiskey eyes. “Vodka. It doesn’t have much of a smell and it was easier to hide in the water bottle he carried everywhere.” His tone was so matter-of-fact.
I didn’t even blink when I said, “My mother drinks gin with lime.”
A tear falling down my cheek startled me out of the state Reid’s words had sucked me into. My stomach sank as I realized what I had just done—what I had just implied. I gasped as I brought a shaky hand up to my mouth.
I could feel them staring at me, but I couldn’t face them. Eyes glued to the ground, I started walking. Heading for the front door, I made it past Reid and into the living room.
“Wait!” Wyatt yelled before something dropped in the kitchen.
“Lottie!” Roe yelled at the same time. Before I could make it to the door, he stepped in front of me. “Please wait.”
I shook my head. My chest was hurting so bad. Fear and regret were squeezing my lungs and stabbing my heart. I began rubbing my breastbone, thinking that would help ease the pain. “I have to go. I can’t be here.”
“You don’t need to go anywhere, Lottie,” Roe said as he tried to reach for me.
I took a step back and began rubbing harder. “I need to go home.”
“No!” both Wyatt and Roe said at the same time.
“I can’t be here,” I said again with tears filling my eyes.
Roe put up his hands. “Yes, you can.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t, Roe. Please let me leave.”
I tried to step around him, but he put his arm out. “Normally, I’d give you your space, but if you walk out that door, I will follow you. I will not let you go back to your house alone.” I had never heard his voice so firm and authoritative.
“It’s empty,” I said. “My mother left for Milan last week and won’t be back for two more weeks.”
“Then who hurt you yesterday?” Wyatt asked, sounding as if he was right behind me.
This was getting out of hand.
