Page 54 of Love Me
Barely giving me time to adjust, he withdrew and slammed back in. His fingers dimpled my skin as he yanked me backward to meet each of his harsh thrusts. My toes curled at the slight pain and how it enhanced the pleasure.
He was unrelenting as he pounded into me. I made sure to muffle my loud moans into the mattress.
“I’m sorry, babe.” His words were at odds with the way his body angrily slammed into mine.
I pushed up onto my hands and rocked backward, making him hiss. “Shut up, Colt,” I groaned and rocked backward again. I knew he was having a moment, or he was saying what he thought he should say. Either way, I couldn’t let his moment take root. “Shut up and fuck me.” It was as much of an order as it was a plea.
He let out a frustrated noise and flipped me onto my back. Fluidly, he was back inside me. “You feel so good,” he forced out.
My whole body rocked with each thrust, and he hit my clit every time he bottomed out. I arched, biting my lip to stifle my need to cry out.
His attention was captured by my bouncing breasts, and he grabbed one. “Do you like this? Do you like it when I fuck you this way?” His words could have been perceived as dirty talk, but I knew it was another moment of doubt. He kneaded my breast before his fingers went to my nipple. Tugging on it, he made me clench around him.
I reached up, snaking my fingers into his hair. “I love this. I love this so much,” I whimpered and fisted his pretty blond locks. I was going to come. The more the feeling built and built, the more my body tightened up. “Don’t stop.”
Colt groaned as I tightened around his cock and his hand slipped up from my breast. The tips of his fingers grazed my neck. My eyes flicked to Colt’s, finding his fixated on the hand that was slowly inching up higher until his thumb reached the hollow of my throat. As his thumb pushed into it, a euphoric look took over him. His thrusts became shallower, harder, and they made me come undone.
As I shuddered and tried to muffle my moaning with my hand, Colt’s release hit him.
For a moment, all that could be heard was our heavy breathing. Colt hadn’t moved from where he held himself on top of me. His eyes didn’t leave mine and I saw shame and regret fill them.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. “You and I are the same, Colt,” I said to him. “I know what it’s like to be the good twin. I couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing my parents because I saw how Shayla’s rebellious behavior upset them. That fear of disappointment spread to other areas of my life, when it came to school and friends. It’s what made me shy and quiet, because if I wasn’t outgoing or outspoken, then there were fewer chances to mess up. The pressure of always acting a certain way, always staying inside the lines, was too much. I loved my sister, but I resented her. I resented her freedom and her ability to not care about the consequences and to go about life with zero regrets. It wasn’t until I lost everything that I realized what I had been doing was unfair to myself. Moving here, starting this new life, I realized I was given a chance to live it differently.” I moved my hands to his cheeks. “You don’t get a restart, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a change. Life is fragile, short, and you only get one. So if you want to quit the swim team, then quit. Your brothers will understand, I will understand, and more importantly, your dad would understand if he were here.”
His eyes became watery, and I knew my words were reaching him.
I smiled. “And if you want to have rough and wild sex again,” I said, making him smile, too, “I won’t love you any less. In fact, you might make me love you more.”
His smile dropped and my heart sank.
Sliding his arms underneath me, he scooped me up as he sat up onto his knees. With my legs still locked around his waist, he buried his face in my neck and hugged me tightly. “You weren’t supposed to say it first.”
My shoulders slumped a little and I moved my fingers to his hair to massage his scalp. “And why is that?”
“Because I was planning on saying it. I had this whole speech thing I wanted to say to you,” he said, pulling away from my neck to face me.
“We can pretend I didn’t say anything.”
The corners of his mouth lifted. “I don’t want to.”
“But I want to hear your declaration of love,” I said with a fake pout.
He snorted. “I wanted to say that the best thing to ever happen to me was when you moved in next door. When I brought over your mail after the first time we met, you answered the door and you had flour all over your face, and I realized right then that I was going to fall for you and there was nothing I could do about it. I think I started falling for you when you came to our swim meet dressed as a cheerleader with our name on the back of your shirt. And I knew for certain that I had completely fallen at Ethan’s party. You smiled so much that night. You seemed so happy and carefree, and it was beautiful to see. The best part about that night was that you had ended it by calling me a cockblock.” He chuckled as if he was remembering it.
“I didn’t actually call you that,” I grumbled.
“It was heavily implied, my little ballbuster,” he said, with an adoring smile. “I love you, Shiloh.”
I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. “I love you, too.”
He kissed me and we just held each other for a while.
As we got dressed, in a low voice, Colt said, “My dad really wanted us to go to college. It’s why he pushed us all into sports. He hoped we’d be good enough to get scholarships because even though his business was successful, it was still a lot to send four kids to college. He and my mom had been saving for us to go originally, but then she got sick, and my dad had to use that money for all the medical expenses.
“Creed had been the one to pick swimming and I figured, why not? It beat getting tackled over a ball or being stuck out in the heat, and turns out I was good at it. We both were. Creed was passionate when it came to the sport, but I’ve always looked at it as another responsibility because it made my dad proud.” He looked up at his trophies he had displayed on a shelf. “I needed him to be proud. Because I thought if he was proud, then he was happy, and if he was happy, he couldn’t be sad. After my mom died, he became this walking shell for almost two years. When he would look at us, there was just nothing in his eyes. No emotion. I know it sounds stupid, but I was scared that if he ever got sad again, he would turn back into that shell. So if Dad wanted me to play a sport, I’d play a sport. If he wanted me to get straight As, then I got straight As. If he wanted me to go to college, I’d go to college. If he needed me to keep an eye on Creed or make sure Creed doesn’t do this or say that or get into trouble, then I’d do it. I did everything he expected of me.”
“Then he died,” I said as gently as I could.
Colt nodded. “There was a moment after he died where I asked myself, what was the point? Why was I continuing to work this hard or strive for a goal that wasn’t mine to begin with? I felt really lost for a time. I didn’t leave the team because I didn’t want to disappoint Creed. After the gym was up and running and started bringing in money, I overheard Knox and Keelan talking one evening. They had created college funds for Creed and me and they were talking over how much they could afford to pay into them each month. Then I overheard them say that if Creed and I got scholarships from swimming, then by the time we graduated, they’d have enough saved for us to go to college without worry.”
