Page 69 of Vixen's Guide to Christmas
She wasn't expecting that. "Your boss? On Christmas?"
I nod and sit on the bed, patting the seat next to me, asking her to come sit by me. I hold in a breath until she makes her way toward me.
“Apparently I'm getting an unexpected Christmas gift...in the form of a new title.”
“Oh. Wait! Did you?—”
I nod. “You’re looking at Sterling Strategies’ newest senior account executive."
Now it's Kat's turn to be thrilled. “Oh my God, that's amazing!”
She starts to hug me, but quickly realizes I’m not sharing in the enthusiasm.
“Why aren’t you excited? This is what you wanted!”
I nod. "It's in New York."
It takes a few seconds for her to process what I just said. But I can tell the second it does.
"Oh."
"Yeah," I say, holding her hand and lacing our fingers together. "Everything I thought I wanted. Merry Christmas to me."
The silence is deafening. I know it's only seconds, but it feels like hours that neither of us even breathe. The tension hasn't been this thick in the room since our first day here. It's amazing how much things can change in such a short amount of time. Because I just got the job offer of my dreams after meeting the girl of my dreams.
And I don’t think I can have both. At least not right now.
“I’m turning it down.”
“What!” Kat yells, turning toward me. “Did I just hear you right?”
I nod. “Yeah, it’s fine. There will be other promotions.”
“Like hell it’s fine!”
That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. “Kat, it’s my decision. I don’t want to move to New York.”
“Really?” she asks. “You don’t want to be a big wig? You don’t want that office? You don’t want the job and the promotion you’ve been working toward for years? Think about it, Grayson. Really, truly, sit back and think about this.”
“But—”
“No buts,” she says. “And don’t think about me. Don’t think about your family. Just think about you. What is it that you want?”
I want it all, but I know that I can’t have it.
Which fucking sucks.
Yes, I want her. I want to know what would come when we get back to Nashville and start really exploring this draw between us. We’d learn to navigate the ropes of our relationship, doing our best to support each other in our careers while also giving each other the space we need to do what we do best. Will we work? I hope we do. But at the end of the day, I’ve known this woman for a week. Everything I’m wishing for is based on hope and the false sense of reality of living in a bubble with her for the past five days.
Then there’s New York. A place I know and have friends. My family would be a train ride away, if I ever decide to visit them again. It’s a city I’m familiar with and doing the job that I’ve wanted since I signed my first tax form at Sterling Strategies.
How can I turn it down? Sure, my gut said to, but that’s just it, a gut reaction. When I turn to look at Kat, her eyes are sympathetic, clearly having got to where I’m just arriving a long time ago.
"It was always going to be tough," she says, her voice shaking.
“It shouldn’t have to be like this.”
She nods, bringing our joined hands to her free one. "We were just getting started. We have no idea where this was goingor where it would’ve ended up, but this is your dream. And if there's anyone who knows what it takes to get there, and how hard you have to work for this, it's me. You have to take it, Grayson."
