Page 89 of Dark Duet: Platinum Edition
Crying women left him bereft of action. They reminded him too much of his birth mother lying on the couch, shaking and begging him to find a way to score more drugs for her. He’d panic at times like that, knowing if Greg came home and found her, he’d beat her and then turn his rage on him. He’d only been seven, but he knew how to get lost for a while. He would grab his coat, kiss his mother, promise her he’d be back with her medicine, and then he’d leave. There was an older lady, Mrs. Kavanaugh, who lived a few blocks away. When things got bad, he would stay at her house, eating cookies and watching game shows until his mom, or Greg, came looking for him.
His mother had been a weak woman, a drug addict who cared more about being loved by an abusive man than she did her own son. Matthew had tried for years to help his mother get clean, but in the end, she couldn’t stop using. One night, she was too high to defend herself, and Greg beat her to death. Matthew hadn’t been home. He’d been out with his friends.
When he’d arrived at home, he’d found her – cold and still.
Matthew was thirteen and he went to live with Mrs. Kavanaugh’s daughter, Margaret, and her husband, Richard Reed. Greg committed suicide in lieu of going to jail for murder, and Matthew had never gotten over the injustice of it, despite the fact his life had improved drastically after that. Margaret and Richard were his real mother and father as far as he was concerned. He tried not to think of those other people.
“Horrible things happen to a lot of people, Miss Ruiz. Not everyone becomes a monster,” he said.
“No, but the world is full of people who do. It’s like those kids in Africa who get taught how to use machine guns and kill. Some of them can barely lift the guns, but they’re killers. What about them, Reed? Do you hold them responsible? Would you lock them away or put them down?” She wiped her eyes.
“That’s different, and you know it. The entire continent is rife with civil unrest and it’s people like Muhammad Rafiq, Felipe Villanueva, and yes, even Caleb, who get those kids hooked on cocaine and then teach them how to kill. I hold those people responsible.”
“What about the ones who grow up? What about the ones who survive long enough to become adults? Can you blame them for doing the only thing they know how?” She had to stop and breathe, her anger making her shake. He could see it on her face. She wanted to hit him. “Do you think that ten or twenty years from now, I’m going to feel normal or be normal or have a normal life,like you?”
Matthew let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know, Miss Ruiz. I don’t have those kinds of answers for you. It’s wrong, what happens to those kids, but it doesn’t give them free license as adults to rape and murder just because they’ve been doing it since they were young. Nor does it justify their actions because they had a fucked up childhood.”
“So…what? Fuck ’em?” she challenged, her eyes wild. “Is that the best you can do?”
Matthew shrugged. “I don’t see the comparison, Miss Ruiz. Even if I did, are you telling me if one of those kids pointed a gun at you, if one of them raped you, you’d be willing to forgive them? Because I don’t think I have that much compassion. Anyone who points a weapon at me is going to get brought down. I don’t care if it’s a fucking Girl Scout.”
Olivia laughed without humor. “You’re fucking wrong, Reed. That’s exactly what Caleb would say.” She regarded him for a moment. “You are different from Sloan; she would never say anything like that.”
Matthew shrugged, trying to find his calm. The conversation had gotten out of control, and really, it just wasn’t necessary. “I tell it like it is and believe me, you’re not the first person to find it annoying.”
“Speaking of…why would you tell Sloan I kissed you?”
“Because you did. Dr. Sloan would have asked, and it’s irrelevant to me but important for her to know.”
She rolled her eyes again. “I just wanted to distract you. You wouldn’t give me Caleb’s fucking picture and I wanted it. Now Sloan thinks I’m some kind of sexual deviant who tries to seduce asshole FBI agents who want to shoot Girl Scouts.”
Matthew smiled in spite of himself. “Well, aren’t you?”
“Tellmeyou’re joking.” She stared at him, a startled, even comical, expression on her face. “No one is that self-absorbed.”
“I’m joking. And Iamthat self-absorbed.” They both laughed amiably, but the conversation was far from over. It was up to Matthew to bring it back around, but he wanted to give Livvie the time to get there. “You still haven’t answered the question. Why do you care so much about Caleb?”
She sighed at that, her focus seemingly far away. When she spoke, her tone was soft and somewhat wistful. “He used to talk to me at night. It was almost like the dark gave us permission to be ourselves, to put aside the fact he was my kidnapper and the man responsible for all the terrible things that happened to me during the day. But you have to understand, for all the bad Caleb did, he protected me too – in his own ways. It could have been so much worse for me without Caleb.
“That night, after Celia had whipped Kid in front of everyone, Rafiq had tried to separate us. He wanted me to stay in his room, and I was terrified Caleb would let it happen. I’d seen what Rafiq had done to Nancy. I could still hear her screams in my ears and feel her hands grabbing for me. I didn’t want to end up like her.
“Caleb refused. He said I would scream for hours on end if I were separated from him. He said I was a danger to myself, and Rafiq didn’t know me well enough to know what I needed. He’d said it all in English, and the moment Rafiq reached for me I started screaming bloody murder until Caleb lifted me into his arms. I even threw in some feverish gibberish, clutching at him and begging him not to let me go. I didn’t have to work hard to be panicked. Iwaspanicked.
“Caleb stroked my hair and I slowly relaxed into his arms, going so far as to ‘faint’. Maybe it was a little over the top, but it worked. Felipe had begged Caleb’s forgiveness for not offering to have him shown to his room sooner and called the butler over to take us to Caleb’s room.” Livvie chuckled softly as she recounted the story, and Matthew had to wonder if her sense of humor had always been so dark or if it was an aftereffect of her time spent in ruthless company.
“Oh!” Olivia suddenly exclaimed, “I remember something. Felipe told Rafiq the boat would be arriving in four days, and he asked if Rafiq would be leaving to meet it or if he planned to stay and have someone else handle it.”
Matthew leaned forward, pen poised over his notepad. “He said this in front of you?”
“He thought I was passed out. I don’t know if it’s important. It was months ago, so the boat has obviously already come and gone, but I do remember it because I wondered if we were near water and if I was going to be on that fucking boat.”
“Obviously, that didn’t happen,” Matthew said, stating the obvious.
“No, but you didn’t ask me if it happened. You told me to tell you everything I remember,” she said.
“So what happened?”
“I don’t know, but Rafiq was gone a few days later, so I assume he went to meet the boat and whoever or whatever was on it.”
