Page 211 of Dark Duet: Platinum Edition
“Caleb. Don’t. You’re no one’s disciple. You’re free, and all that shit is behind you.” Her arm squeezed my waist.
“I hope you’re right, Kitten, but I’d still do anything to protect what’s important to me. I just hope it never comes to violence again. From now on, it’s just fighting in the gym.”
Livvie laughed.
“You mean you did this on purpose? Oh, Caleb,” she sighed, “you’re such a fucking man sometimes.” She kissed me again.
“I’m always a man. Don’t you forget it.” I winked. “Ask your questions, Kitten. I can’t promise I’ll always be this agreeable.” I skimmed her lower back with my fingers.
Livvie’s smile faded a bit, but I could sense her determination nonetheless.
“Why me, Caleb? Why’d you chooseme?”
I was sorry I invited her questions. I could think of at least ten other things I would rather suffer than formulate words to loaded questions like those. However,whyis always important to people. It had been important to me. I’d wanted to know why I’d been taken. I’d wanted to know why Rafiq showed me genuine affection when I was a boy. My entire life had been aboutwhy. I owed Livvie answers.
I cleared my throat.
“You made me curious.” I could practically feel the intensity of Livvie’s stare. “I watched you for weeks before I decided. Every time I saw you… I wanted to know more about you.”
“But why?” She pressed into my side. I let out a huff of air.
“Fuck, I don’t know. I guess… you looked kind of sad.” I raised my free hand and traced her confused brow. “You liked to stare at the ground and it used to make me angry because I couldn’t see your face, your eyes. I wanted to know why you were sad.” Listening to my words aloud and staring into those same eyes, I wondered what the hell had ever possessed me to hurt someone so innocent, so beautiful.
“You told me about your mom, about how she treated you, but I didn’t know that in the beginning. I saw you in your baggy pants and oversized sweaters and it didn’t make any sense to me why such a beautiful girl would hide.” I knew she had been hiding from someone like me. I thought,life is cruel.
“And then I fucking met you. You ran right into my arms and I…” I almost couldn’t say it. “I had to have you. I’m sorry, Livvie. I’m so very sorry.”
Livvie shook her head.
“I don’t need you to apologize anymore. We’re together and I don’t need you feeling bad about it. I just want you to stop pushing me.” She gripped my shoulder and shook me playfully. “I need to know how we arrived here, but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy to be where I am. I’m here, with you. That’s nothing either of us should be sorry about.”
“It doesn’t seem that way sometimes. You care about me, Livvie. I know you do. Except you won’t say it because you’re punishing me for what I did. I know I deserve it, but stop pretending you’ve forgiven me. If you want the truth from me, start being honest.” I felt the shift in power between us. Livvie had me where she wanted me, but I had her too. We had each other, and I liked knowing it wasn’t something either of us could surrender easily.
She put her head down on my chest in supplication. She could ply me so easily sometimes. If I had anything to do with her ability to wield power through submission, then I’d done my best work in Livvie. However, I doubted that was the case. She’d been playing me since the day we met in one fashion or another.
“I forgive you, Caleb. I’m just… angry. You’re angry too. I don’t like how easily you can hurt me.”
“It’s not easy, Livvie. I don’tlikehurting you. That’s not fair.”
She made a growling sound. I almost laughed but managed to hold it in.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. “I mean… you left. You could leave again. Youthinkabout leaving and going back to that life. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
I wanted to get up and throw things around the room. Livvie could be so infuriating.
“The only reason I said that is because you do the same to me. One minute you can’t live without me and you want me to treat you rough. The next minute you ask me if I’ve killed someone. Casually! As if Ieverkilled anyone on a whim. Am I supposed to believe you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you think is capable of those things? If so… you’redefinitelynot the person I remember.”
Livvie smiled.
“The rest of my life? You’re ambitious.”
I took in a breath and let it out in rush. Yes, she was infuriating. I had to laugh to keep from shaking her.
“I… fine. I’m ambitious.” Unable to resist, I added, “It’s not like I have anything else to do with forever. My schedule is wide open.”
“In that case, can I ask my questions?” She smiled sheepishly.
I sighed.
