Page 108 of Best Year Ever
She nods, clearly not surprised by my confession. “And?” she says.
“I think I want him back,” I say out loud, also for the first time.
She places the racquet down on the bench. “Girl, you’re so good at tennis and so bad at life sometimes,” she says with an exasperated tone.
“UGHHHH,” I say, dropping my head in my hands. “I know. I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore because I thought I was losing Julie, losing hold of my focus. But that was dumb.”
She sighs. “It’s okay, you made a mistake. It’s allowed.”
I look up at her again. “I don’t like my days without him. I don’t like never being able to talk to him. It feels wrong to have him missing from my life.”
“Well,” Maggie says. “You know that you need to talk to him in order to see if he will give you another chance. Have you reached out to him?”
“No,” I admit. “I haven’t gotten that far yet. Honestly, I’m scared to. Scared he’ll be so angry or not want to talk to me.”
Maggie’s eyes light up, as if an idea has sparked.
“Let’s text him now, while I’m here for you. I’ll help you be brave.”
A jolt of panic goes through me, but it quickly dissipates. Maggie’s suggestion isn’t a bad one. I need the accountability to get out of my own way.
“Okay,” I agree, grabbing my phone. I stare at our last text chain. “It’s unoriginal, but how about ‘can you talk’?”
“Yes, fine, that works to get the ball rolling,” Maggie says. “Do it now, before you chicken out.”
So I do.
RORI: Hi. Can you talk?
Maggie and I stand in silence, watching my phone for a solid minute. No reply comes.
“He could be in the middle of a ton of stuff, don’t think too much of it,” Maggie says. “Put the phone away and watch him reply then.”
I nod and try to quell my unease. Maybe hewillghost me. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
I go about my afternoon session with Julie and try to stay focused on tennis. It’s now only five days before I leave for New York. Happily, everything does seem to be clicking on court again this afternoon.
“Strong session, stay in this headspace,” Julie says.
When I get home though, it’s Landon that occupies my mind. He still hasn’t responded. Whether out of anger or disinterest, I have no way of knowing.
Going a little crazy with sitting here in the cottage thinking about it, I call Maggie.
“Mags, he still hasn’t responded,” I say after she answers.
“Well, shoot. Hmmm. Okay,” she says, clearly unsure of what my next move should be.
“I hate this,” I say. “I know I messed up, and I want the chance to at least tell him that, you know?”
“I get it,” Maggie replies. “If there was only a way you could see him, force the issue. But I’m sure it would be hard to figure out where he’s going to be or make it happen with your schedules.”
Suddenly, a bell goes off in my head, inspired by Maggie’s words. A quick Google search confirms that what I’m considering is a possibility.
“Mags, oh my god. I have an idea.”
I proceed to explain what I’m thinking.
“Do it, do it, do it. You’ll regret it if you don’t try,” she says. “This is so un-Rori like and I kind of love it.”
