Page 89 of My Cosplay Escape
He looks up.
And I wait for the ball to drop. For the recognition. For a coy smile and the light of understanding to shine bright in his eyes. For him to fold me into his arms and for everything to be okay.
Instead, he drops his head to look back down at his book. “Hey.”
“Mind if I sit here?” My heart is hammering.
“Yeah, actually, I’m meeting someone.” The words are so pointed, they make me flinch.
“Cool.” I sit down. In hindsight, it is a mistake. “Who?” I take a sip of my tea, a bitter chamomile and lavender. The barista must have forgotten to add the honey.
Adam looks up at me, and unbridled rage floods his features. “What do I have to say for this to end?”
I smile. I laugh. And then a pit forms in my stomach. People see what they want to see. And even though it is clear as mud that I am Adam’s Catstrike, his Sabine Kennedy rendezvous, Adam won’t see it because he doesn’t want to. He wants someone else. He hopes, and has always hoped, that there is some other woman behind that cat mask. And honestly, right now, I wish I were someone else too. Because I’m not the sexy, strong, confident girl I was pretending to be this entire time. I’m a nobody who doesn’t even deserve to explain her past. I’m a loser who’s still too scared to do anything about it.
Fudge. Fudge it all.
I’m here. I might as well find out who Adam wishes is behind the black vinyl. “Tell me about who you’re meeting. It must be someone special for you to iron your shirt.” I finger his sleeve. He swats my hand away.
“So what’s her name?” I ask.
He huffs.
“Did you meet her in Econ 101 too?”
“No.”
“Are those new Vans? Wow. She must be special.”
Adam snaps his book shut. “I know what you’re doing. I went through it with Allison. Remember?”
Allison. His ex-girlfriend. I am now in her boat.
Adam leans forward. “I’m your backup plan,” he snarls. “I’m an insurance policy. But I’m not doing that again. I’m not going to be the friend you confide in and hang out with. I’m not letting myself fall in love with someone who is just using me because she needs to break a heart to prove something to her ex-husband or herself.”
“What the hell, Adam? Daniel was and remains a douchebag.” I’ve got the papers in my backpack to prove it.
His eyes narrow. “You made it completely clear that you aren’t into me.” He pulls out a notebook and slams it open.
“You misunderstood,” I said. But he doesn’t give me a chance to tell him more.
“Not wanting to kiss the guy you’ve been dating sends a pretty clear message.” Adam slowly underlines something in his notebook.
“You’re such an idiot,” I say. Of course I wanted to kiss him. I just didn’t want my entire life to unravel afterward. And look at me, I’m at last telling the truth.
“I’m smart enough to know to stay away. And now that I have… You’re jealous that I’ve moved on.”
I laugh. I’m jealous of another woman who happens to be me? How in the world did it ever come to this? “Maybe I should just stay until she gets here. Who are we looking for? Come on. Give me some details.” Knowing I don’t live up to the fantasy in real life hurts. So do my hamstrings from all the sprints I ran this morning. My Prince Charming hates me, and my rose-gold thoughts of future happiness are going up in flames. As a result, I might not be fighting fair or even thinking rationally.
Adam swallows. He tries not to flush, but he reddens all the same. “You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. Let it go, Sarah.”
“How am I the stubborn one?” Adam’s the one who refuses to see what is right in front of him. “You’re the one refusing to share.”
Adam digs his fingers into his hair and lets out a tortured groan. His phone buzzes, and his desperation when he grabs it is almost heartbreaking. He slams it back down on the table.
“Did she cancel?”
The exasperation on his face is palpable. “If I say yes, will you leave?”
