Page 77 of My Cosplay Escape
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Brent makes it past the front doors, but that’s about it. He pokes his head into an escape room proper then asks Adam about booking a team-building event for his office before he disappears, leaving me and Adam alone with our cake in his escape room.
A text buzzes my phone.
Brent: Know you didn’t ask me to come to sniff him out, but Adam seems like a decent guy. Text if you need me.
My brother may not be a superhero fan, but he’s a really good guy.
“Ever been to an escape room?” Adam asks.
“It’s not my thing,” I evade.
“Tough crowd. Okay. Well. I have a few different escape rooms here. I have the more traditional ones. Osric Manor Mystery. Abandum City Cyberattack. TheDaily PostAbduction. I also have a hybrid offering, a haunted house meets escape room. Very easy puzzles.”
“Let’s do that one.” What? No. Bad idea.
“Malum Escape it is. Just imagine my cast playing the villains in the different cells.”
The door creaks and then clangs shut. “Welcome to Malum Asylum. I’m the warden. Do not under any circumstances touch the inmates. If you do, you will be escorted to an isolated cell where you will stay for a very long time. No pictures, no phones, no recording at any time.
“There is no escape from Malum. There is no justice in Malum. There is only… I can’t remember the rest. ‘Deputy Chief Eden’ is our safe word. We make everyone practice.” He pulls a lever, a bell buzzes, and the lights dim. “This way.”
Another door creaks open.
Adam turns to me. “Boo!”
“I need pearls to clutch,” I say flatly.
“It’s terrifying when Alan does it. He’s my Shoemaker, and he’s usually up above.” He points to the bars on the ceiling.
“How do you get out of this room?” I try the door. It’s stuck.
“Well, you can always retreat. But this is a cooperative task. If the guests are really not getting it, Alan will give clues. You have to push the buttons at the same time.”
I walk to the button opposite of Adam and press it. He does the same with the other button. The cell door opens.
“Who is in this room?” I ask.
“Ad Hominem. You have to get his coin and jam it into this puzzle. I mean, you don’t have to. You could use chewing gum and a high heel. We’ve had that happen. That was a fun night.”
“I remember,” I say.
Adam stops. “What?”
Goldfish. “I remember working at a haunted house once… And if a particular room got backed up, it was, um, chaotic.”
He seems to take that at face value.
“This next room is basically a scare,” he goes on. “Cetus or Paroxysm. And the exit is through the window, which is really fun.”
He vaults through and pulls me down after him. “Then Mallard. His is an actual riddle room. How fast people make it through depends on how steady our traffic is that night. I make my Mallard, Conundrum, and Shoemaker wear earpieces. Poison Hemlock, too, sometimes.”
“I wondered about that.”
“For Mallard’s riddle, you need to borrow a page of his newspaper. It’s one of those that uses the first word of every other column.” He stops, looks me up and down, head to toe. “You’re okay with strobes, right? We make everyone sign a waiver.”
“Yeah.”
