Page 29 of My Cosplay Escape
“Wait! I’m locked in with them?” I’m not feeling so confident anymore.
“Calm down,” Adam says evenly.
“I would, too, but you’re still smiling.”
Adam looks perversely amused. “You have options. You can get out the door they came in, which is ideal. You can slip between the bars here.” Adam gestures to a wider gap between the faux jail bars and wall. “Escapees tend to think literally, so it’s a safe option. Last option: You can stay put and heckle them.” Adam checks his phone. “If you’d gotten here on time, we would have run through it. Congratulations on making it this far.”
I fold my arms across my chest. “Thanks?”
Adam laughs. “No, that’s your line. And then you say, ‘But you’ll never make it past me. Now can you see in the dark?’”
“Wrote that just for me, did you?” I say in my soft growl. I take a sauntering step closer to Adam. Even with the dull echoes of the bar seeping in from below, my boots still make excellent little accents of sounds.
Adam’s eyebrows arch reflexively. “Feel free to punctate your lines with Catstrike laughter. Almost forgot. You hit the strobes with this.” He hands me a palm-sized remote, which I immediately click on. “The room goes black for a count of three before the strobes pulse. You exit while they feel around in the dark for the key.”
I click off the strobes, and the stage lighting is on once again. “What if I can’t get out in time, and they end up feeling me?”
“Relax. We’ve got you on camera, we’ve got them on camera. The ‘wardens’ patrol the hall too. You’ll do great. Jerry is stationed tonight in the cell before yours, and Vanessa is in the cell right after yours.”
Adam checks his phone again and swears. “Sorry, there isn’t time to introduce you to everyone. Click the remote again to reset the strobe and slide the cell door shut before the next group arrives. If there is an emergency, you look into the video camera in that corner and say, ‘Deputy Chief Eden.’ Then hold down all the buttons on your clicker. It sets the houselights on the entire wing. People come running. Only for emergencies, got it? Questions?” He slides open the cell door, leaving me alone in my white padded cell.
I wrap my clawed fingers around the bars. “Plenty.”
“Ask me later. We only have one video camera in this room.” He gestures to the corner where I spy a small red light. “It’s been enough for now, but I’m working on getting a second added. Just in case.” He pauses and looks at me. An odd smile curls on his face.
“What?”
“You look like a Jane Lee still. Sit tight. First group is due in five.” He slides the door shut and disappears.
They’re a group of accountants on an informal team-building excursion. The brunette screams when she sees me in the room. I say my lines, push the button. The strobe starts. I escape out the door they came in.
And then I do it again with a group on a double date. And again with a sorority. And again with birthday partiers.
It’s easy. And kind of fun, I have to admit.
Before the next group cycles through, a woman in a Fair Play costume comes into the room and stands outside my cell. “Hey, you holding up?” she says. “I’m Vanessa, BTW.” She reaches her hand through the bars, and I shake it. “Don’t worry about another group coming in just yet. There was an incident in Mike’s room, and it’ll take longer to reset.”
“Incident?”
“Some guy started filming.” Vanessa grins. “I’d like to say it happens all the time—just to mess with you—but it’s pretty rare.”
My supervillain voice slides into more normal territory. “How does Adam book so many parties so close together?”
Vanessa laughs, and it is immediately apparent why she was cast as Fair Play, AJ Comics’ female version of Badpun. She sounds completely unhinged. “Malum Escape isn’t a real escape room. It’s a haunted house, but it gets people coming back because it’s easy enough to change it up. And sure, there are a few puzzles. Mike’s room at the end is a crowd favorite. Although, from what I’m hearing, you’re not bad.”
“Who’s Mike?”
“The guy in the purple suit and creepy clown makeup.”
Adam has a Badpun. Of course.
Vanessa stretches and pops her neck. “Where’d Adam find you? He’s been looking forever for a Catstrike.”
That’s the second time someone has said that. Why? “Comic-Con. You?”
“The Haunted Hotel. It’s the best gig in town, but it’s seasonal, you know? This one comes in a close second. Adam went through it and said I had the best timing out of everyone in the place. Asked if I’d seen Halifax Sisters’ latest villain misfits flick. Wanted to know if I thought it’d be fun to flirt with the psycho side of the comic book world. When is itnotfun to flirt with the psycho side, am I right?”
Then she laughs again. Gotta admit I want to take a step back. I mean, this girl is intense. But I hold my ground and smile widely. “Is it always this busy?”
