Page 75 of A Cornish Love Story
I shrugged. I didn’t want to feed her any more information. ‘I need to go.’
‘You’ve only just got here.’
‘Yes, to discover that the crazy night I just spent with my ex and a psycho Smart system was all down to you. It’s not exactly the matchmaking approach I’d expect from a friend.’
‘You’re lucky you have a creative friend, then.’
I stood up. ‘You don’t get it, do you? I’m not a damsel in distress for you to manipulate. I’m a real person and this is my real life – these areourlives, mine and Ethan’s. You think it’s fine to toy with us, to move us where you want us, but you never stop to think, do you? You don’t think about what it feels like to be trapped in a place—’
‘I very much do,’ she said firmly, but I kept going.
‘And you can’t imagine how it feels to be offered somethingsogreat, something potentially life-changing, like writing a book with your favourite author, only to realize it’s her way of keeping you in check.’
Spence’s gaze sharpened. ‘That’s a genuine offer. We were always going to write it together. My motives for getting you to the house might have been a little more complicated, but—’
‘And what else will be complicated? When there’s a discussion about the payment, or my name on the cover, or any kind of genuine recognition? What compromises will I have to make? What will be just a littletoounorthodox for a publisher once I’ve put in all the hard work and the book is written?’
‘I would never hurt you.’
‘Not intentionally, but you’re blinkered as to how I might get hurt inadvertently. Like putting me in a house with Ethan, making me realize what I’ve lost, and that …’ I took a gulping breath, surprised by how close my tears were to the surface. ‘I thought I’d moved on, but now I’m right back where I was, and it’s all still out of my reach.’
Spence’s expression softened. ‘Oh, my dear.’
‘I need to go. I can’t do this now.’
She was frozen for just a second, caught in imaginary headlights, but then she smiled. ‘I understand that this has been a shock, but I do have some correspondence to get done today, so I really don’t think you can shoot off just yet.’
‘I’m sorry.’ I took our mugs to the kitchen, rinsed mine in the sink and topped hers up, then returned it to her side table because I couldn’t completely abandon my duties. ‘I’ve got other things to do this morning.’
‘Other things like what?’ Spence sounded curious rather than irritated.
‘I need to follow up on some letters of my own,’ I told her. ‘And these ones are really urgent, because they’ve stayed unanswered for a very long time.’
I left her sitting in her chair with her fresh cup of coffee, and walked down her vanilla-scented hallway to the front door, where Alperwick and its bright summer sunshine were waiting for me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Now
Irealized, once I’d flounced out of Spence’s house, being overdramatic in a way I knew she would appreciate, that I only had a vague plan. I was about to do something daunting, something that meant ignoring the clamouring voice that was demanding I go back up to Sterenlenn and see if Ethan was still there. I was sure Spence was telling the truth, that he had nothing to do with us getting locked in together, but I also realized that seeing him again now would be the path of least resistance. I was treading water, and so many of the things I needed to sort out didn’t involve him at all.
In the messages to Sarah, he’d said that he was getting the first train back to Bristol, but would he still do that when he discovered I was gone? I wassplit down the middle, desperate to see him again but also to have space from him, to work through everything and consider what I wanted. I imagined getting home and finding him waiting outside for me. I knew I would invite him in without thinking about it, without stopping to remind myself that it couldn’t work for us long-term if we were flinging ourselves at each other and pretending the last decade hadn’t happened.
So I didn’t go home. I went to my branch of theNorth Cornwall Staroffice, which was actually a little café I had adopted, because the view was much more inspiring than the one from the limited workspace theStarhad. The café was tucked away on the opposite side of Alperwick Bay to Sterenlenn, located in an old Victorian house, and was run by Nick and his sister Molly. They had converted the ground floor into a cosy tearoom, where they did the biggest, stickiest cinnamon buns.
‘All right, Georgie?’ Nick asked, giving me a warm smile. He already had flour dusted down his canvas apron, even though he had only just opened for the morning.
‘I’m good thanks, how are you?’
‘Can’t complain, especially not with this weather. But this is a bit early for you, isn’t it?’ He had a stack of laminated menus and was putting them on the tables, giving each one a quick wipe down.
‘I’ve got a lot on my mind.’ I tapped my temple, then felt ridiculous. ‘Thought I’d get ahead while it’s quiet.’
‘Coffee and a cinnamon bun to help you work?’
‘Yes please.’
Nick saluted me and disappeared, and I sat at my favourite table in the window. It had views over two roads-worth of rooftops and then the sea, which was azure and glittering as the June sun rose up to shine on it. I hadn’t gone home after seeing Spence, so I didn’t have my laptop, but I got out my notebook and opened it to the next clean page. The previous one had scribbled notes about the plan to visit the house, which I’d written days before I knew it was Ethan’s. My handwriting was messy, because I’d been eager to please Spence, to go after the carrot she was dangling in front of me. Now, as I looked out of the window at a couple of men in shiny wetsuits jogging along the sand, brightly coloured surfboards under their arms, I saw it all differently.
