Page 96 of The Secret Christmas Bookshop
‘Soph,’ Harry said quietly. ‘She wasn’t wrong, was she?’
‘We got talking because of the Oak Fest.’
‘Which she encouraged me to get involved in.’
Sophie thought back to that night in the village hall, how it was the mystery of the book that had made her put her hand up and volunteer: she wanted to get to know the villagers so she could find out who had sent it to her.
‘She’s been manipulating us.’
‘She likes you,’ Harry said. ‘A lot.’
Sophie stood up again. ‘So why not just tell me? Why not say:I like you, Sophie, and I think you’d be great for my grumpy friend Harry?’She flung her arms wide. ‘This is ridiculous – all of it. And you’ve known for ten days, and you didn’t tell me.’
Harry pushed himself to standing. ‘I wanted to tell you. I was going to do it on Christmas Eve, once the festival was out of the way. I didn’t want you to think we’d been conspiring against you. It’s my book, and it sounds crazy – Iknowit sounds crazy that I didn’t know about this, but I promise you I didn’t. And I should be mad with May for going about things the way she did, but I can’t be mad with her.’
‘Because she’s your friend,’ Sophie said. ‘That’s where your loyalty lies.’
‘No! I mean, of course I’m loyal to her. But the reason I can’t be mad,’ he said, taking a step towards her, ‘is because it worked. Because itdidbring us together, and it’s been the best thing that’s happened to me in years. I wouldn’t wish us back to being strangers for anything.’ He held his hands out.
Sophie stared at them. Her thoughts wouldn’t slow down. ‘You didn’t tell me,’ she said. ‘For ten whole days, you knew May had done this, and you didn’t tell me. You’ve beenbinding books – I make notebooks. It’s something we’ve got in common, but you didn’t want to share it?’
‘I was shocked when I found out you made your own notebooks; that what we were doing was so similar. But my bookbinding … It’s supposed to just be a hobby, my own thing, and I’m still such an amateur. I wasn’t confident enough about it to tell you, I wanted to wait until I was better at it, and my books weren’t supposed to leave the annex.’
‘They’re beautiful,’ she said quietly.
‘It was never about intentionally keeping anything from you.’ Harry’s eyes were gleaming in the firelight. ‘It’s hard for me to open up to people, but I’ve been more honest with you than I have with anyone in a long time.’
‘Not about this.’
She needed time to think. She’d been desperate to know who had given her the book, and it had been May all along. She thought of all the times they’d had coffee and cake together and talked about Harry. Were her feelings even real? May had wanted her and Harry to be together, so she’d engineered it. Suddenly, Sophie couldn’t breathe.
Shewas in charge of her future. Only her. She couldn’t let anyone else decide, steer her in the directiontheywanted. Trent had tried to do that, and when she didn’t live up to his expectations, he’d discarded her as easily as if he’d been closing a door.
‘Sophie?’ Harry put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her with concern. ‘Soph, are you OK? I’m so sorry. I’m sorry this happened, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the moment I knew. May’s intentions are always good, but she got carried away. I don’t think she realized—’
‘This ismylife,’ Sophie said. ‘I didn’t … what if it isn’t real? What if none of this is real?’
He squeezed her shoulders. His touch was usually so reassuring, but now she just felt trapped. ‘Itisreal,’ he said. ‘My feelings for you are real. The book – it’s just like the initial meeting, themeet cute. Nothing more.’
‘I-I don’t know!’ She stepped back, extricating herself from his grip. ‘I don’t know any more. I need to go.’
‘Please don’t.’
‘No. You lied to me, Harry. I don’t – I mean, the book, May … You haven’t been honest with me, so how do I know thatthisis true, what you’re saying? What if you did it together?’
He held his hands out in front of him, as if she was a frightened animal and he didn’t want to startle her. ‘I didn’t,’ he said. ‘I promise you, I didn’t know. But I do want a future with you. I want us to have a future together here, in Mistingham.’
Panic rose inside her. It hadn’t happened the way she’d thought; she hadn’t been in control of any of it. ‘I’m going.’
Harry hesitated. ‘Now? Back home?’
‘I’m leaving Mistingham,’ she said in a rush. It was what she always did. It was how she stayed in control.
‘What?’
‘I told you that I was planning on leaving after Christmas. Youknewthat, Harry.’
‘But I thought – you told me you were going to stay. You wanted to talk about it after the festival, but you said you’d changed your mind.’
