Page 78 of All We Want for Christmas
‘When will you tell your parents about Molly and Esme?’
‘I’d said I’d visit early in the New Year … but now I can’t decide whether to tell them they have a granddaughter and great grandchild before then.’ He stopped by the lake shore, gazing out over the fells, which were topped with snow and turning a soft pink in the late afternoon sun.
‘Will they be shocked?’
‘Initially, yeah, but they’ll probably be thrilled once they get used to it. They’ve been on at me to settle down with someone for years. They never found out about Abigail,fortunately, and that she was married – I’m not sure they’d have believed me when I said I didn’t know. Did your family know about your relationship with Rob?’
‘I tried to keep it fairly low key. I was living on site in the “gardener’s cottage” at the manor, and he’d never really interacted with my friends or family. I think I didn’t see as much of them as I should have either, in hindsight. It can be a very isolating life, living and working somewhere like Ravendale or my last place. You have to work extra hard not to make it the centre of your life.’ Which was even more reason not to make someone you work with the centre of your life, she reflected.
Flynn smiled. ‘I know … Lara, I am really grateful for your help today. I wouldn’t have had a clue what to buy. These are my closest relatives and I don’t know them at all, but this isn’t really your problem, and I didn’t want to lay it on you.’
‘I think I can handle a bit of Christmas shopping.’
‘Thanks. This whole situation has totally pulled the rug from under my feet. There I was, so sure of where I was heading. So sure of what I wanted—’
She’d been sure he knew too – so sure that she’d set aside all her misgivings and launched herself feet first back into the deep waters she’d avoided for so long.
He gazed out over the lake again as if searching for answers in the mountains and December sky before turning to her. ‘One moment you have a plan, and then,boom, life throws you a hand grenade.’
‘A very cute hand grenade. Two, in fact.’
‘Yes. Two.’ He managed a smile. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am to have a family, even one that was kept a secret for so long. But it’s tough, and I feel I’m failing all the time. I’m feeling my way every day and every day seems to throw up a bigger challenge. Getting to know Molly and Esme, worrying about other people’s reactions …’
‘You’re not failing. You could have run away by now. Some people would have. You stayed, you’re trying to learn, and trying to make things work.’
‘Yeah. Maybe.’ He kicked at the gravel on the shore and rested his gaze on the lake where the Christmas lights shimmered on the surface.
‘Does Imogen know yet? She could help share the responsibility and,’ Lara added gently, ‘answer some of your questions.’
‘Hmm. I don’t know if I dare ask her some of the questions that keep me awake at night. And no, she doesn’t know Molly found me yet. Molly keeps putting off telling her. My worry is that, if she doesn’t tell her mum, Brenda will do it for her, and I’m not sure that’s the best idea.’
From nowhere, fireworks burst into the darkening sky.
The sound jolted Flynn and he turned to her with a melancholy smile. ‘I think we should be getting back. I’ve dragged you into my dramas long enough. Are you ready for the return ride?’
‘Not really … but you know I’m always here as your friend,’ she said, as they walked back to the car park.
‘You’re more than a friend,’ he said with a look of tenderness. ‘You’re special to me.’
The comment stabbed at her. It was what Rob had said and, even though Lara knew that Flynn was a good, decent man – the opposite of Rob – she’d ended up in the same situation. Alone. This time she had no intention of walking away from her job or her home so the only option was to protect her heart as best she could.
They’d reached the bike. ‘I’ll always listen. As afriend,’ she emphasised again, and bustled ahead, trying to forget his comment and cover it with practicalities. ‘There is one thing I need to ask. Jazz is badgering me to give the final numbers for the Christmas lunch at the castle. I hate to hassle you about it but are you definitely not coming?’
His brow furrowed. ‘Why would you think I wasn’t coming?’
‘I’d assumed you’d be going to Molly’s.’
‘I am – but I already told her and Brenda that I’ll be at Ravendale for the lunch. They invited me for tea afterwards. Not that I’ll have room for tea, but it seemed the best solution.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I said I’m going to be at the castle for the dinner. Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Somehow Lara survived the journey home, although she found the last half of it pretty hairy, because darkness had fallen and a lot of the route was unlit. Once again, it was easier and more reassuring to hang on to Flynn.
Even so, her arms and legs ached from the tension of holding on, and she needed a large G&T to help her unwind after a day of physical and emotional ups and downs.
