Page 58 of All We Want for Christmas
‘That’s – that’s awful. And – you’re 100 per cent sure?’
‘We’ve sent off our DNA – me, Molly, and the baby. The results will be back soon, but I know it’s true. The details all add up and now I’m face to face with her, she does look like me.’
‘I hadn’t noticed, but, then, I wasn’t looking for any resemblance. I can’t believe her mother didn’t tell you before, though. To keep you from seeing your child is awful …’ Lara added, then regretted her blunt statement and realised she probably wasn’t helping. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit stunned.’
‘Trust me, I’m struggling to understand why Imogen did it too, but I have to think of Molly and Esme first, and not how – how robbed – I feel. I might see things differently in a few days or months, but, right now, I’m still in shock and living from one day to the next.’
‘Why did Molly choose to tell younow?’
‘She’d known who I was for a while from social media andthen found out I’d taken the job at the castle. I think it became impossible for her not to tell me the truth, especially as having Esme had made her realise what being a parent means.’
Everything Flynn said made sense and yet Lara was too stunned by the news to think straight. And if she was stunned, how must he feel?
He leaned forward in his seat and reached out his hand, then pulled back. ‘I am so sorry for not being honest with you about where I’d been the other night, but it was a hell of a shock. I wasn’t thinking straight and I needed time to process a bombshell like that myself before sharing it with anyone. You’re the only person I’ve told.’
Lara felt the gravity of him choosing her to confide in. ‘Has she told her mother or her grandmother that she’s tracked you down?’
‘Not yet, although I’ve asked her to. She’s not keen for now, but I don’t feel comfortable with them not knowing.’
‘You must want to speak to Imogen, though. You must want to know from her why she didn’t tell you about Molly for so long?’
‘Of course I do, but Imogen is working abroad and I’m respecting Molly’s wishes for now. If I’m to build a relationship with her, she needs to learn to trust me.’
Lara nodded. ‘I don’t suppose you can do any different if that’s what she’s asked of you.’ Even so, thought Lara, Molly was making some big demands of Flynn.
‘Thank you,’ he said, sitting back and sighing with relief. ‘Thank you for listening, and I know you won’t tell anyone else.’
‘Of course I won’t. I wouldn’t.’
He took her hand. ‘I know I can trust you and, for that, I can’t tell you how grateful I am.’ He hesitated. ‘Lara, my head is so messed up right now, I think I need some time to process everything.
‘I’m glad you’ve been honest with me,’ she said, hiding her misery with a bravery she didn’t feel one bit. ‘And you know what I think? You need time to come to terms with everything and so, until then …’ she said, not knowing if there would ever be a ‘then’ when he suddenly had a whole new family and lifelong commitment to embrace. ‘I mean, I think we should probably take a step back from this – from us.’
Although she was saying what she thought were the right things – for both of them – part of Lara hoped he might disagree and insist they should carry on as they were, despite all the turmoil in his life. On the other hand, she didn’t want to force Flynn to tear himself into pieces trying to give everything to a new relationship as well as a new family.
‘I never wanted things to end up like this. So soon after we …’ he began in a voice full of anguish. ‘But, even though it’s killing me to say it, you’re probably right that we should take a breather.’ He stepped forward and brushed her cheek with his fingers. ‘Oh God, it feels as if I don’t even knowwhoI am right now.’
‘Life will never be the same …’ Lara said, forcing herself to sound upbeat. ‘For the best, though.’
He enfolded her in his arms even though she was itching to get away and lick her wounds. ‘And how can I expectyou to deal with all of this stuff?’ he murmured ‘And now that Molly has reached out to me, I owe it to her and Esme – and to myself – to try to make sense of it all and give them what they need.’
Lara was trying to hold it together and say the words a sensible, loving friend would say, even if those words weren’t the ones she wanted to say. ‘I get it. Of course you need to focus on your family. They need you and you need them. But I am here. I am always here if you need me. As a – a friend, if you want.’
‘Thank you, thank you,’ he said, looking down into her face. ‘I know you’ve been through a messy relationship already and I’m so sorry this happened now. It’s terrible timing.’ He seemed almost on the edge of tears himself.
Gently, Lara extricated herself from his arms. ‘It’s OK.’
‘It’s not,’ Flynn said gently.
‘No … but it is – what it is,’ Lara said, even though it was a phrase she hated and had never believed in. You could always take your fate into your hands, or at least how you reacted to it. She wouldn’t stand by and be passive again after waiting around for Rob. More than that, how could she ever come between Flynn and his family? She’d wanted her own so much and she would never jeopardise his newfound joy. ‘I’m so happy for you, Flynn. This is a wonderful discovery even if it’s not the perfect way to find out. You need to seize every moment and make up for lost time.’
‘Lara …’ he said, with a look of tender agony in his eyes that almost made her burst into tears.
‘You know where I am if you do need me or want to talk.’
‘I do. I will.’ He let out a groan. ‘My phone is going off again. I wish I could ignore it, but it’s Molly – it might be about the test. I – I’ll catch you later. And Lara, thank you for being so understanding. You’re a wonderful person. I’m so sorry.’
With that, he walked away, phone clamped to his ear.
