Page 52 of All We Want for Christmas
‘I knew you’d started work at the castle. I’d overheard the gossip and, when you walked in, one of the staff mentioned it to my boss. She’s the one who didn’t want me hanging around your table.’
‘Bloody hell,’ Flynn murmured. ‘Were you sure it was me – I mean that I was your dad?’
‘I was pretty sure. I mean, I was sure, I suppose, but I couldn’t quite believe it. It was so weird, seeing you sitting there with your friend – Lara, isn’t it? – and telling myself it was you.’ Molly fiddled nervously with a toy brick. ‘Have you told her about me?’
‘No. Not yet.’ Flynn’s heart sank. It was only two days ago that he’d told Lara he had no skeletons in his cupboard, no commitments. How was he going to tell her about this?
‘Is she your girlfriend? Won’t she want to know?’
‘We’re just friends,’ Flynn said, not wanting to go into detail and still unsure of his exact relationship with Lara. Whatever it was – or was going to be – it would surely have to change. God, he didn’t know how to tell her or how to deal with it.
‘You seemed more than friends to me,’ Molly said sagely. ‘I can tell from the body language. I like watching people. I was doing Psychology A level at college before I had to take a break to have Esme. I’d like to be a child psychologist one day.’ Molly ruffled Esme’s hair but there was a wistfultone to her comment. She’d had to put her dream on hold at a very young age to devote herself to her daughter. He admired her for it. So many plans had been shattered in a moment.
‘If it’s not Lara, is there anyone else?’ Molly went on, with the boldness of youth.
‘No, no one else. Not now.’
‘Now? You’re thirty-nine, and you’re still single?’
‘Erm … I suppose I am,’ Flynn said, not knowing how else to answer.
‘It’s not easy finding the right person to make a commitment to,’ Molly said, handing a wooden block to Esme that was just out of her reach. ‘You see, I thought Esme’s dad might have been the one, but I soon realised he wasn’t. He’s harmless enough, according to Nan, but he’s not for ever material or dad material.’
Not dad material. The words were like yet another sucker punch. They were a bit too similar to the words Abi had used about him.
‘I’ve only just started my new job here …’ Flynn added.
Esme bashed her penguin with a wooden hammer and babbled, ‘Ba ba ba.’
‘Hmm. OK. It’s only I thought you might have taken the job because of Lara – or someone.’
‘I didn’t know her before I came to Ravendale,’ he said, skating over the detail that he had met Lara before, although briefly. ‘I was asked to start early. They needed someone urgently for the role and I thought the castle would be a great place to work. Who wouldn’t want to live up here?’
‘Oh, you see, when I first heard you’d moved, I did wonder if you’d found out about me.’ For the first time, Molly’s confidence seemed to wobble. ‘But if you had, you would have said something when you saw me in the café.’
Flynn felt terrible, but he owed his daughter honesty – along with a whole lot more that he could hardly bear to think about yet. ‘I wish I had known. I would have wanted to find you a long time ago.’
She nodded, seeming soothed by his response. ‘Are you angry with my mum for not telling you?’
Flynn hesitated. His main emotion at that point was a shocked numbness, but how could he express that to Molly? ‘I’m not angry. I’m still coming to terms with the fact I have a daughter and a granddaughter.’
Esme was chewing her penguin’s beak. ‘She loves Penguin,’ Molly said, stroking her daughter’s dark hair.
‘Are you going to tell your nan about me?’ Flynn asked.
‘No!’ she cried, the first time he’d really seen her in a panic. So far she’d been far more at ease with the situation than him, but he reminded himself she’d had a long time to think about how she’d handle it.
‘She’ll surely have to find out eventually.’
She sighed. ‘I suppose so. I need time before I tell her too. I don’t want her having a heart attack.’
Flynn smiled. From what he remembered, Brenda was barely older than his own parents, who were fit and healthy and enjoying an active retirement. ‘I doubt that will happen.’
Molly pursed her lips. ‘Well, I don’t want her to know.Not yet. Nor Mum. I want to get to know you myself first before I hear their opinions.’
‘Do they have opinions of me?’
‘No, because they don’t know anything about you other than you ride a motorbike and worked at an old house and at the theme park. Why would they?’
