Page 44 of All We Want for Christmas
‘Yes, it was a vintage ride with a huge organ.’
‘You can say that again! What happened to the couple?’
‘They were a bit shocked and very embarrassed, but, in the end, they were relieved not to get into any trouble.’ He smiled. ‘You must have caught visitors up to no good during the course of your job?’
She giggled. ‘Not actually having sex, though we didthrow two people out for lying on a four-poster bed. They were only kissing, though.’
‘Only kissing?’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘Are you sure? Were you watching?’
‘No, I wasn’t watching, but I did have to walk in on them. I could hear the noises so I started to … hum outside the door … to give them time to stop anything that they might be thinking of doing.’
‘What were you humming?’
‘The first thing I could think of – ‘The Birdie Song’. My dad is always whistling it when he’s doing DIY and it just popped into my head.’
‘That’d put anybody off!’ Flynn said.
She was laughing out loud, her sides almost hurting. ‘I – s-so w-wish you’d stop doing this.’
‘What?’
‘Making me laugh or get mad or do something I shouldn’t and that I’ll regret.’
‘I don’t mean to.’
‘R-really?’ She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, knowing her mascara must be smeared. She expected Flynn to make a teasing remark but instead he gave her that intense and serious look that made her melt inside.
‘I don’t want to be something you’ll regret. I’m not the bastard lord of the manor. I’m not someone who makes promises he can’t keep. I’m someone who cares about you and is ready for a new relationship against all his expectations and fears and plans. I’m someone who just happened to come across you. And you happened to come across me.’
He’d switched the mood in an instant, from sexy banter to serious grown-up stuff. She could feel blood pulsing through her, making her body tingle from her scalp to the tips of her toes.
‘Have I overstepped the mark?’ he asked solemnly.
‘No. No, and let’s get this straight. You’re about as far from the lord of the manor as it’s possible to get.’
His mouth lifted at the corners and his eyes lit up.
‘But it doesn’t matter. It’s the being ready for a new relationship that’s holding me back from taking this –us– any further. You know I lost my job, my home, when I split with Rob. I don’t want that to happen again.’
‘If it did – and I hope it won’t – I’d be out of the door before you even had to think about asking me. I’dneverput you in that position.’
Somehow, Flynn had picked up her hand and held it, as if to emphasise his point.
‘I – believe you. I truly do, but I also don’t want to be hurt again. After Rob, I couldn’t handle getting involved with someone who’s tied to anyone or anything else. I know I can’t predict or control the future but I’m only trying to protect myself.’
‘I do understand what it’s like to find out someone’s not what you thought they were, but I don’t have any skeletons in my cupboard.’ He stroked the back of her hand and gazed into her eyes, making every nerve ending come alive. ‘And I also know there’s no true happiness in life without taking risks. We both have no ties … us getting together may, possibly, be a disaster waiting to happen …’
Lara found herself smiling and shaking her head, disagreeing with him – perversely – for some insane reason. The insane reason being that she was wavering and she was tired of denying herself a chance of happiness and the chance to kiss him and be in his arms and know what it would be like to be close to that gorgeous body. To wake up next to him.
‘What if a disaster doesn’t happen?’ he asked, moving closer and resting his hand on her cheek. ‘What if this is a good thing and stays a good thing for … a very long time?’
Her skin turned molten under his touch. ‘Why do you always make me doubt myself?’ she murmured, uncurling her feet and turning to face him.
He shook his head. ‘I don’t want you to doubt yourself.’ He withdrew his hand and she felt as if she’d turned her face away from the sun into shadow. ‘I want you to be sure. That you’re not just doing this because you’ve had half a bottle of wine.’
‘Half a bottle?’ She laughed. ‘That’s not enough to make me do something I don’t want to.’ She ran her hand along his arm, resting it on his bicep and squeezing gently.
‘And tomorrow?’ There was a raw edge to his voice. ‘What happens when we have to face each other in front of everyone? How will you feel about me then?’
