Page 94 of The Christmas Retreat
‘And at least ceramics is a realart form,’ Kate said obscurely, and I remembered she had been rather scathing about performance art.
‘Well, to return to what we were originally saying,’ Nerys said, ‘other than beginning new works, Timon and I aren’t planning any special new beginnings, and I suppose you aren’t either, Rhys?’
There was something in her voice that made me look at her sharply and see the wicked sparkle that danced in her dark eyes.
‘Actually, Iamhoping my life will take a bit of a change of direction this year,’ he said. ‘But I’ll just keep it to myself until I see whether I can pull it off.’
‘Then good luck with that, dear boy,’ said Noel, and got up. ‘I must be off home.’
‘I’ll walk over with you,’ said Rhys and then suggested I go with them for a breath of fresh air, to which I agreed.
It was a clear, frosty night and the sky was bright with stars … and, I thought as we walked back from the bookshop in amicable silence, somehow also full of hope.
Arwen
Letter from Arwen Madoc to Milly Vane, Sunday 20 July 1919
Dearest Milly,
Your reassurances that I can have done nothing to make Cosmo think his advances would be welcome to me made me feel so much better. I know at first I was dazzled and a little awed by him – the very embodiment of Mr Rochester, with a little of Heathcliff thrown in for good measure – as well as the respect I had for him as an artist, but that didn’t make me lead him on!
It’s very kind of Edwin to say he will play the ardent suitor in front of Bea, should the occasion arise. She’s now eager to get rid of me, so that she’s once more an heiress and so persuade her papa it would be desirable to let her go to London.
As soon as I’ve made my escape, she means to get her friend Sarah’s mother to invite her to stay with them again. I do hope Cosmo lets her this time.
We go on here as if his unwanted advances never happened.And yet I feel constrained in his presence and cannot relax even when he is the pleasant companion of before, for now I know what lies beneath. Can he really be in love with me and, if so, is that the cause of his jealousy and desire to restrict my social circle, or is the constraint he imposes on me just the result of a fear that I will reveal his eye condition and my increasing part in producing his paintings?
It is so very kind of you to put your visit to St Melangell forward to next Friday, when you have barely had time to settle in your new home in Lamorna, but I confess it is a huge relief to me and I long to see you! Your having booked rooms at the Star and Stone will make things easier, too, because, as I think I mentioned, my friend among the maids, Efa, is walking out with the publican’s son and, since her home is in the village, she can carry messages between us if necessary. She is often sent into the village on errands, in any case, and Bea says she can think up any number of reasons to send her there.
We may need her help, for I thought I had better inform Cosmo that you were arriving earlier than I had expected, which I was very nervous of doing, so I took care to choose a moment when Mr Jones was in the studio.
Cosmo said sharply: ‘Indeed? Why is that?’
I replied that since I had now told you there was no possibility of my going back to Cornwall with you, you had instead decided on the earlier date so that you could paint the local scenery while the good weather held. Then I added – a stroke of genius this, I think! – that Edwin, who was several years your senior, had only agreed to bring you so he could spend some time with friends of his, near Harlech. I made him sound as old and stuffy as possible, so Cosmo will not, at least, be jealous of Edwin, I hope – unless he sets eyes on him!
This seemed to allay any suspicions and he said if I let Maudie know when my friend was arriving, she could invite her to tea.
Mr Jones, who I am sure had noticed my reserved manner with Cosmo and assumed we had had some kind of quarrel, said in his kind way that he was sure it would be very nice for me to spend time with my old friend.
A little after this Cosmo – whom I am now calling Mr Caradoc in a very formal way even when we are alone together – said in a low voice that he was glad I’d given up any idea that he would permit me to make my home with you and I assured him in the sulkiest manner I could manage that indeed, I had had to, for I didn’t wish to get my friends into trouble.
I think he is so used to being a domestic tyrant, expecting everyone to fall in with his orders, that he took this at face value.
From other things he said, I suspect he means to keep me very busy in the studio next week, but we will contrive a way to meet and also, just knowing you are so close will be a great comfort to me.
He still has no idea that I go out in the early mornings, so we can meet then. I’ve put in a little map, showing the way from the inn up the small lane that leads to the rear gates of Castle Newydd, from which you can take the cliff path. I can meet you there. No one will be about at that hour.
Cosmo is not going to London for the opening of his exhibition – how convenient to our plans that would have been! – but it is very fortunate that you will be spending two nights with your aunt on the way here and so can go to it, and see if any of my paintings are displayed. I hardly dare to hope so – it would be quite wonderful if there were. I enclose two of the small sketches I did for them, which I’ve taken out of my pocket sketchbook, so if they are hung, you can compare them and tell me what you think of the finished works.
My two new dresses have arrived, white and as plain as I could persuade the dressmaker to make them, to Bea’s disgust. I pointed out that frills and furbelows might suit her petite frame but would not become me in the least – and nor do I want to look as if I am trying to make myself more attractive for Cosmo’s benefit! In fact, since he has paid for them, I don’t want to wear them at all, so they will only appear at dinner and at church.
This being Sunday, I donned one of the dresses and Lily kindly said how well it became me. Mr and Mrs Prynne were both at the service, and Mark made an appearance for the first time since his return home. They did not linger afterwards, for I think he still finds standing and walking both painful and tiring. Miss Stretton was with them and had abandoned her usual practical tweed skirt and Norfolk jacket – a taste we have in common, for the pockets are so useful! – for a dark plaid dress and a becoming straw hat.
I cannot myself think of any way of escape from here that might not involve you and Edwin in trouble – and I would not want to do that for the world.
But your having said you had thought of a scheme gives me hope.
Your affectionate friend,
