Page 119 of The Christmas Retreat
‘OK,’ agreed Pearl, and Toby said he’d start work a bit later so he could go down with Pearl and see how her first ceramics looked.
Kate looked absolutely eaten up with a curiosity that was doomed never to be assuaged, as she hungrily watched Evie follow Noel out of the room.
I suspected the family were going to have a sleepless night, just as I had when I’d read those letters.
*
I can’t sayIslept well, either, because unlike the rest of the family, I knew there was yet more to come at the conference from Milly’s journal, even if not exactly what.
So I woke very early next morning, filled with a strange mixture of happiness because Rhys and I were in love, and apprehension.
There was no way I could work, and it was still dark outside, so I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down with my laptop to check my emails … only to find that Evie had relented about Milly’s journal and had sent it to me in the early hours.
But only to me, she said, and I was not to mention any of it to anyone before we all met up after breakfast, not even Rhys.
With a feeling of increased trepidation, I opened the document and began to read Milly’s journal, which began in St Melangell on a note of bittersweet happiness.
31 July 1919
Edwin has just told me that he and Arwen are engaged – and while this isn’t a surprise to me, since I realized they loved each other long before they did, yet it is still bittersweet.
I’ve always known that Arwen doesn’t love me in the way I love her, and never will, so I must welcome this closer tie between us …
1 August 1919
When Efa gave me Arwen’s distressed, tear-stained, and hasty note, I scanned it over twice, trying to read between the lines.
The scene with Caradoc had clearly been a dreadful one – yet I wondered – reading again where she said she’s realized marriage is not for her and begged me to tell Edwin of this, and her hope that we could resume our old friendship on the same footing – if perhaps he had let his passions run away with him this morning and frightened her.
She is so level-headed and independent that she always seems older than her years, but she is still only eighteen, after all.
I put this to Edwin, who did look a bit shamefaced, but insisted Arwen had returned his embraces and seemed happy when they parted.
He thinks her changed attitude towards their engagement is due only to the row with Caradoc, who probably said some vile things to her, and he seems confident he will change her mind once we have got her safely away.
Perhaps she will … but she sounded resolute and she’s very stubborn when she has made up her mind about anything.
I can’t wait to get her safely away from here tonight!
6 August 1919
When Arwen arrived at our rendezvous on Friday evening, I’m sure Edwin was as shocked as I was at her distressed appearance. She was quite frantic that we get away immediately.
I’ll never forget that seemingly endless journey back to Cornwall, taking a much less direct route than that by which we had come, over some very bad roads. Luckily it was a clear summer’s night with a bright, almost half-moon helping light the way.
As the hours passed and there was no sign of pursuit, I think we all relaxed.
It was late evening when we left Arwen at our friend’s remote cottage on Bodmin Moor, in the care of an elderly and very deaf housekeeper, who had been told she was convalescing from an illness.
She clung to me for a moment at parting and even managed to smile at Edwin, but it was difficult to drive away and leave her there.
*
I’d long finished reading the journal when the gong rang for breakfast, but was still sitting there, my laptop open and tearsstreaking my face at the poignancy of Arwen’s last months of life in Cornwall.
Despite the application of a lot of cold water, my eyes were still red when I went downstairs, and Rhys gave me an anxious look as I went in.
It was a depleted party without Verity and Opal. I’d been too engrossed in the journal to notice any sounds of their departure in the early hours. Cariad had already been dropped off at the castle by Tudor because she and Mel were going to a children’s craft session at the local history museum.
