Page 63 of Moving to Love
He turned toward her, hooked his thumbs in his jeans, and set his jaw. “I wanted to be sure before I knew anything. For the record, I don’t think it’s mine. I did have sex…” He faltered as she turned her head. She turned back to him, looked into his eyes, and waited.
“I had sex with her. Once. Many months ago. I’ve been trying to remember, but honestly, it just didn’t mean that much. I just wanted to get laid. You wouldn’t go out with me.”
Joci flew into a rage. “Don’t. You. Dare.” Each word punctuated with a finger jab. Her eyes shrank as she squinted at him; she was nearly yelling. “Don’t you dare blame this on me. If you had kept your cock in your pants, we wouldn’t be dealing with this now.”
He looked down and quickly back up. “Jesus. I wasn’t blaming you. I’m trying to explain. If you can’t stand here and listen, don’t ask me the fucking questions.” His voice grew louder with each word. He turned and stalked to the living room and then swiftly came back. Still in a state, he finished, his voice a bit calmer, “You wouldn’t let me touch you. I was horny. Deal with it. But that was probably eight months ago. She’s not eight months pregnant.” He slammed his fist on the top of the counter. “I don’t know what her game is, but that kid isn’t mine.” He stalked back to the living room.
Joci followed him, saw him standing at the picture window, and flopped on the sofa. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them. Resting her chin on her knees, she stared at the blank television screen, a faint reflection of herself staring back. She felt the sofa dip. His scent floated over her, and she closed her eyes.
Softly, she said, “Why would she do this? Why would she say it’s yours if it isn’t? Did she ask for money?”
He shook his head but didn’t say anything. They sat quietly for long moments.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “LuAnn.” She turned toward him. “Deborah is friends with LuAnn. I saw them talking when I walked in the shop the other day, and they giggled when I walked past them.”
Jeremiah turned his head and stared. When she met his gaze, her lips thinned, then turned down. He flung himself back against the sofa and let out a string of curses that would make the devil himself blush.
Chapter 27
Sunday morning, Joci woke to Jeremiah kissing the top of her head. Her eyes slowly opened. Jeremiah was on his back with his right arm wrapped around her. She was on her side, with her right leg thrown over his legs, her right arm thrown over his waist, and her head cradled on his shoulder. They had gone to bed without saying a word after sitting in the living room for what felt like hours. Joci was too weary to keep her eyes open. She laid as far to her side of the bed as she could, and he on his. Not even a good night was spoken, both of them raw and bloodied from the extraction of emotions. She must have rolled toward him in her sleep.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to crowd your space,” she said as she lifted to glance at the clock.
He sighed, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I love you, Joci. We’ll get over this and work it out. I haven’t cheated on you; I never will.”
She glanced at him for the first time. His eyes sought hers, hungry for reassurance.
She sat up, raked her hands through her hair, and let out a breath. “Yeah.” She scooted to her side and slid from the bed, still wearing the gray t-shirt she had hastily thrown on with the silky black shorts. It was the first time she hadn’t slept nude with him.
“I can’t have this conversation again right now. I need coffee and some time to process it all.” She walked to the kitchen, rubbing her gritty eyes. She absently reached into the cupboard for two cups and poured one for each of them. Turning to the refrigerator, her stomach rolled at the thought of food. She immediately closed the door and picked up her phone from the counter. Several missed calls. She tapped Gunnar’s missed call first.
“Are you okay, Mom?” He sounded as if he had been awake for some time. She glanced at the clock on the stove.
“Yes. I’m fine. What gets you up so early on a Sunday?”
She heard him hesitate. “Do you want to talk? Are you sure you’re fine?”
She chuckled. “I’m fine. It’s going to take some time, and we have things to work through, but…” She couldn’t finish. She didn’t know what would happen next.
She heard him clear his throat. “Okay. Well, Connor asked if he could speak with us today. He wouldn’t say what it was, but he wanted us both to be there. Are you feeling up to talking with him this morning?”
Joci closed her eyes. What could he possibly need to speak with them about? She couldn’t handle much today; she felt weak and exhausted. Letting out a deep breath, she said, “Let’s just pull the Band-Aid off quickly and get it over with. What time do you want to come over?”
She threw away Jeremiah’s beer bottle and cap from last night and wiped the sticky ring from the counter. She walked to the bedroom with their coffee cups and saw that Jeremiah had gotten up, and she heard the shower running. She pulled clothing from the closet and sat on the edge of the bed. She’d never hesitated to go into the bathroom when he was showering before; now, she felt different. Distant.
The shower shut off, and she listened as he sighed heavily. He was apparently feeling it too. He opened the door and froze when he saw her sitting on the bed facing the door. “You could’ve come in,” he said, a bit tersely.
She nodded once. “I brought you coffee.” She retrieved the cup from the nightstand and handed it to him. Their fingers brushed, and she looked into his eyes. He reached forward with his other hand and cupped her chin.
“I love you. We need to move forward and figure this out.” She caressed his arm; her eyes welled with tears. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his massive bare chest. The hairs tickled her nose and eyelashes; his skin smelled heavenly. As he wrapped his big arms around her shoulders and waist, she felt cocooned and safe from the spoils of the world around them.
She reluctantly pulled away and looked into those green orbs she loved so much. “I love you too. We’ll have to figure this out later, though. Gunnar and Connor are on their way over. Connor has something he needs to talk to us about.”
Jeremiah groaned. “I’ll bet he does.”
Joci turned the water on in the shower. “I don’t think it has anything to do with Deb—with you.” She took a deep breath. She’d have to say her name eventually.
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