Page 19 of Moving to Love
She lay next to him, thinking about all of this. It was inevitable that they would be together, but when she had woken up this morning, she never would have imagined she would be lying here with him tonight, naked and exhausted.
“Do you want to talk?”
Joci leaned up again and giggled. “You want to talk? I thought men didn’t like talking after sex.”
Jeremiah smiled at her, saying nothing else. His chest was still rising and falling from the exertion; his sexy eyes were still hooded.
Joci chuckled. “You’ll need to get me home soon anyway.”
Jeremiah snorted. “You are home, Joci. You’re staying with me tonight. If you think that was it for tonight, you have another thing coming. As for the days to come, we’ll play it by ear—but I want to be with you. Not just when the mood strikes, but all the time. I don’t want to sleep alone ever again. I want you in my arms.”
Joci cocked her head to the side and looked at Jeremiah. “You don’t think this is moving way too fast?”
He leaned up on an elbow and shook his head. “You’re kidding, right? I just told you it was a long fucking year. As far as I’m concerned, we’re way behind the ball on this.”
Joci looked at Jeremiah, and her face softened. “I’m sorry. You know this isn’t going to be easy. Jeremiah, I see the way women look at you and fawn over you. That’s what has kept me away for this year. I’ve been cheated on and lied to. I have a real trust problem. You might want to walk away right now, so I don’t drive you crazy.”
“I’m not walking away, Joci. I know you have trust issues. Remember, I’m the one who was trying to get you to go out with me, to spend time with me. I’ve watched you struggle with your feelings for me and not want to admit them. I wish I could make those fears go away, but I can’t. What I can do is stick with you and hang on tight. That’s exactly what I intend to do. And just so we’re clear, I’ve never had another lover. I’ve fucked women, but I’ve never made love to them. I just made love to you. You are my first and last lover.”
Joci watched Jeremiah’s eyes. She could see the honesty there. He never wavered when he looked at her. He didn’t fidget and twitch. He just looked at her like he was trying to convey with his eyes that he was telling the truth. She didn’t know what to say to him. She had never made love either. She didn’t know that until just now. Now she knew what the fuss was about.
He hugged her tight, and she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back.
Chapter 10
Jeremiah and Joci lay back against the headboard. The candles were burning low, and the light wasn’t nearly as bright, though it was still very beautiful. He couldn’t stop watching her. Her smile caused her dimples to wink. When he saw them, he wanted to sigh. Talking to her felt good. They had similar tastes in music, food, movies, and family values.
“Joci, tell me about Connor. What’s the deal with him?”
Joci looked at him, her brows furrowed. “I take it you don’t like Connor.”
Jeremiah looked at her for a long time. “Connor’s in love with you. I see the way he looks at you. It drives me nuts.”
Joci’s head jerked back a bit; she shook her head. “I don’t think so. He’s been there for us. He feels bad about the way Keith treated us—Gunnar and me. He was Keith’s best friend. They’re still friends and keep in touch. He knew all along that Keith was cheating and told me he tried talking to Keith about it. Connor’s been a good friend for a long time now. When I needed help with Gunnar, Connor stepped in for me—for Keith, actually. That’s all.”
Jeremiah’s lips formed a straight line. “He never asked you out or tried to kiss you?”
Joci cocked her head to the side. “Yes, after he divorced, he asked me out. He did kiss me a couple of times, but each time, I told him I wanted to keep it friendly. Eventually, he accepted that.”
Jeremiah leaned over and kissed Joci lightly on the lips. “You can’t possibly believe that! I would never accept that from you, and I don’t think he did either. I see how he looks at you. He loves you. If he makes a move for you, he and I are going to have problems. That may cause a problem with Gunnar, but I’ll deal with it.”
“He hasn’t made a move in all these years, and he’s actually introduced me to girlfriends of his.”
“I’m just sayin’.” Jeremiah twisted to look at her. “Now, what about Keith? Did he leave the area, or does he still live around here? And how do you feel about that?”
Joci shrugged. “He really wasn’t the love of my life. What really hurt was when I found out how much he had screwed around. Besides screwing Tori and my aunt, he screwed a woman I worked with. Actually, he had been with almost everyone I knew. It’s hard to think these women would see me and talk to me and offer me advice and be in the friggin’ delivery room with me and the whole time, they were screwing him themselves.” She picked at a thread on the comforter, then smoothed it with her hand. The satiny fabric was soft and cool to her touch. She noticed the deep copper color in the waning candlelight. Looking up into his eyes, she continued.
“That’s why I don’t trust easily. So many people have betrayed me. But even worse was that we had a little boy who wanted and needed a father. Keith left him. He left the area when Gunnar was one or so. Connor told me that he met someone and married her. I hope he treats her better than he treated me. They have two children together, I believe.”
“Does he ever see Gunnar or keep in touch with him?”
“Nope. Since the day I found him with Tori, he hasn’t made any attempt to touch base with Gunnar.” She quickly turned her frown into a smile; this was not a time for sad thoughts.
“I won’t betray you, Joci. Never. My father raised us better than that. No one in my family would ever treat anyone so cruelly. I promise you.”
She looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity.
“What about you, Jeremiah? Did you ever wonder if you should have done something different with Barbara?”
