Page 10 of Moving to Love
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? What kind of man do you think I am? I wouldn’t…fuck. Joci, what the hell?”
He took a deep breath to steady himself. He couldn’t scare her away. He could feel how close he was to getting her to come home with him.
Lowering his voice, he whispered close to her ear. “I’ve wanted you since the first minute I saw you. I still remember what you were wearing, what you looked like when you walked in that door. You were wearing jeans with little shiny things on the back pockets that moved around and sparkled when you walked. You were wearing a gray t-shirt with rhinestone hearts on it. I remembered thinking how the gray in the shirt matched your eyes. God, your eyes. I think about looking into them while I’m in you. I think about it over and over. I have feelings for you, Joci. What happens tomorrow is we ride, enjoy the day, meet and greet, and come home.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Jeremiah. I’m…I…you…” Joci swallowed. “What I’m trying to say is I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
Joci took another breath and pulled away. Her voice was small and shaky. “I’m scared,” she managed to squeak out.
It was so soft Jeremiah could barely hear it, but he did. He let out a deep breath, not even realizing he had been holding it. He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them to see her looking at the ground. He put two fingers under her chin and gently raised it so he could see her eyes. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the tears.
He placed both of his hands on either side of her face and brushed the tears away with his thumbs. He very gently kissed each tear track on her cheek.
“I know this is hard for you. I won’t hurt you.”
“Hey, there you guys are. Are you ready?”
Ricky and Janice stood in the doorway to the store. Ricky worked at Rolling Thunder in parts sales. His short, spiky, blond hair suited him. He had tattoos on both arms, full sleeves, and a set of red lips tattooed on his neck. His blue eyes sparkled, taking in the scene before him.
Jeremiah looked over his shoulder. “Yeah, we’ll be right there. Why don’t you make sure the computers are booted up so we can run through the software with Joci?”
Ricky looked at Janice and smirked. They turned and walked over to the computers behind the sales counter.
Jeremiah looked back at Joci. “Are you okay?”
Joci gave a weak smile and wiped her eyes with her fingers. Jeremiah grabbed her and hugged her tight. He needed the contact with her. Poor thing, she was scared out of her wits. Those bastards in her past had done a number on her.
“All we can do is try, Joci. Not trying is worse than failing. If we don’t try to see if we have something together, we’ll never know.”
He could feel her shaking and tightened his arms around her, holding her in place so she would feel protected. After a few moments, he loosened his hold on her and whispered, “Ready?”
Joci nodded, and Jeremiah stepped back but held on to her hand. Together, they walked to the counter, where Ricky and Janice were waiting for them.
The four of them spent the next hour going over how the sign-in process would work most efficiently.
Ricky and Janice said their goodbyes, and Jeremiah told them to go on out; he would lock up behind them.
Jeremiah locked the door, then turned to look at Joci. She looked scared shitless. He didn’t want to scare her; he wanted to make love to her, to hold her, to smell her, to talk to her. He walked over to stand in front of her and watched her fidget with the little purse in her hands. He could see them trembling, and she was biting her bottom lip.
He stepped up to her and looked her in the eye. He placed his thumb on her chin and pulled her bottom lip out of her mouth.
“It’s going to be fine, Joci. You look like a scared little lamb heading to slaughter.” She nervously let out a little breath and tucked her hair behind her ear.
Her voice was soft and shaky. “I don’t do casual sex…can’t. With you, I’m afraid it isn’t casual.”
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Joci took a deep breath. Geez, this was harder than she thought. She was drawn to him, had been from the first moment she laid eyes on him. But, with all the women always throwing themselves at him, she was so damned afraid. Her stomach turned over, making it hard to breathe. Here it was, this moment she had imagined. But now that it was here, she felt almost paralyzed with fear.
“If you hurt me...I just can’t go through that.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know it seems foolish to you to not even try, but I can’t help myself.”
Her eyes became bright with tears. Her stupid emotions were all over the board right now, and she knew she was rambling. She was sure she looked sexy as hell with watery eyes, a red nose, and that icky face people make when they’re crying. He would be crazy to want her now.
She had thought about Jeremiah for almost a year, dreamed about him, fantasized about him, wanted him, but she held back because of this stupid fear. If they made love tonight, she knew she would fall hard over that cliff. If he walked away after that, she would be devastated. Joci took a step back. She should just go.
