Page 52 of Everything We Thought Was True
“Oh my God, Frank, what’s wrong? Are you sick? What about the kids?” Eva asked nervously.
“No one’s sick, Ma. I promise.”
“Then what?” Eva asked.
“It’s about me. I’m... gay. Fought it for a long time, but I can’t anymore. I’ve been hiding for too long. Teresa knows. Well, she’s known for a while, actually. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I don’t think we can stay together anymore. It’s not fair to either of us or the kids.”
Eva stared at Frank, her mouth hanging open, as if he’d just told her she couldn’t talk. Enzo shifted uncomfortably and leaned against a kitchen chair, like he needed it for support.
“How does this happen? I don’t understand. You’ve always liked girls. You’re married to a woman.” Eva pointed at Frank, scolding him.
“I don’t know, Ma. Some people are just born this way.”
“You weren’t born this way, Frank. I delivered you from my body. You were a normal, healthy boy. Trust me.”
“Yes, I was a normal healthy boy who happens to be gay.”
“Well, you weren’t always that way,” Eva declared.
“Actually, Ma, I think I was. I had a feeling I was different. I didn’t want to be. It wasn’t... easy.” Frank sighed and looked pointedly at his mother. “C’mon, Ma. You knew. Don’t pretend you didn’t suspect. You were onto me. Remember that time with Eddie in high school? Nothing happened, but I wanted it to, and you knew it.”
Enzo looked shocked. “I never heard any of this.” He looked from Frank to Eva, a puzzled expression on his face. “Eva, you knew? Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”
“I thought it was just a phase. That it would pass.” Eva waved her hand dismissively like she could wipe away Frank’s gayness with a swipe.
Frank shook his head vehemently. “Well, it didn’t. And I can’t hide it any longer. I am who I am.”
His father walked over and put his hand on Frank’s shoulder. “So... now... you’re sure?”
Frank looked up at him and nodded solemnly. “I’m positive now. I could never be sure in the past. I was with Teresa and hadn’t really acted on my... interests. But now that I have, I know I’m gay.”
Enzo nodded back and squeezed Frank’s shoulder. He looked deep in thought.
Eva jumped up, flailing her arms in big, sweeping arcs. “Why, Frank, why? Where did I go wrong? How could you do this to me?” She paced back and forth, sobbing like Frank had told her he had a terminal illness.
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It just happened. Ma, you think you’re upset about this? Think about Teresa and the kids.”
“I am thinking about them, Frank. A lot. And you. What kind of life are you going to have like this? Certainly notnormale.”
“I don’t want normal, Ma. I want to be me!” Frank realized he was yelling and put his fist to his mouthto stop himself.
Enzo turned to Eva. “Basta. Enough, Eva.”
His voice shook with force, which surprised Frank. His father almost never raised his voice to his mother or told her what to do. Eva retreated to the chair in the room’s corner, looking forlorn.
Enzo then turned back to Frank, his hand still on his shoulder. “I love you. You’re my son. That’s all I care about.” Enzo took a beat. “Besides, if people are born this way, it sure doesn’t seem like something you can control. Or that you or anyone else should be blamed for. It shouldn’t tear families apart.”
Enzo looked over at Eva intently, waiting for her to say something. But she just sat there, crumpled in the chair, silently weeping.
Frank reached up and grabbed his father’s hand. He couldn’t bring himself to speak.He accepts me for who I am. For what I am.A flood of relief washed over him. He was in awe of his father, this man who could show him so much empathy and forgiveness. Frank knew he would forever be grateful to him.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
LENA - ORANGE, CA
August 2015
“Easy, killer,” I said. “Save some for the whales.”
