Page 46 of Everything We Thought Was True
“Can we pull over and eat it here? I don’t think I can wait until we get home. I’m so hungry,” Lena whined.
“Sure,” Teresa said.
Anthony wouldn’t be home from his wrestling tournament for another hour. Once they got their order, Teresa pulled into a parking spot, and they began to eat. Lena attacked her food with gusto, shoveling french fries in her mouth.
“Slow down,” Teresa admonished. “You’ll get sick if you eat so fast. You should have a snack before track practice. It isn’t good to be this hungry.”
Lena nodded, smiling while chewing. She swallowed. “Good idea. I swear Coach is trying to kill us at practice.”
Teresa laughed and leaned back in her seat, enjoying her food at a slower pace. She glanced to the right and saw two men walking across the back of the parking lot, holding hands. Teresa felt flushed. She glanced over at Lena to see if she’d noticed them. Lena was eating her hamburger, looking down at her lap. She glanced up at Teresa and instantly turned toward the two men as if Teresa had been pointing that way with a neon sign that read, Look to Your Right.
Lena stopped eating, watching the men intently. One of them leaned over and kissed the other full on the mouth. Fear gripped Teresa as she watched her daughter observe the scene. She tried to swallow the last bite of food she’d taken, but it felt like a ball in her mouth.
Lena turned to Teresa and whispered, “Mom? I think I know what Dad is.”
“What? What do you mean, what he is?”
Of course, Teresa knew exactly what Lena meant. But she was shocked.
Lena looked at her sheepishly. “Do you think Dad likes men... sort of, helikelikes them?”
Teresa sat, dumbfounded, not trusting herself to speak. She busied herself by wiping her mouth with a napkin, stalling for time. Then she reached for Lena’s hand.
“I think some of Dad’s friends are... more than friends,” Lena continued.
Teresa squeezed her hand hard, willing herto go on.
“Like Henry. I saw them on the boat a few years ago and wondered about them.” Lena’s eyes looked like big glassy orbs as tears built up but didn’t flow.
“Oh, Lena, honey...” Teresa soothed. “I’m so sorry. I wish you’d come to me.”
“I wanted to tell you—honestly, I did. But I was scared.”
“Scared of telling me? You know you can tell me anything.”
Lena wailed, letting the sobs escape. “No, Mom, I was scared of being right. About what it would mean. About hurting you.”
“Sweetheart, what did you see that made you wonder about them? It’s okay. You can tell me now.”
Lena looked out the window as if the past lay there, off in the distance. “It’s hard to explain. It was just a moment, but I felt like I caught them together. They looked like... a couple.”
Teresa stroked Lena’s hand. “It breaks my heart that you were scared. You must have felt so alone.”
“I tried talking to Anthony, but he didn’t think anything was wrong. So I started doubting myself. But then we had that sex ed class in school this semester, ’member?” She hiccupped as another sob escaped. “And we learned about... homosexuality. And I knew I’d been right.”
Lena started sobbing harder, and Teresa hugged her, stroking her hair and whispering, “Shh, it’s okay, Lena. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not, Mom. I know what Dad is. He’s one of them.” Lena was breathing fast, and Teresa could feel her trembling. Her forehead was sweating, and her sobs morphed into choking.
“Lena, calm down, sweetie. You’re making me nervous.”
Lena frenetically shook her hands. “I feel strange. My heart is going too fast. I feel like I can’t breathe.”
“Breathe, Lena, now. Breathe slowly with me.” Teresa rubbed Lena’s back.What is happening?She breathed deeply in and out, and Lena mimicked her. “That’s it. In... and out. In... and out.”
A minute later, which felt excruciatingly long to Teresa, Lena’s breathing had stabilized. Her face was pale, but Teresa was relieved that overall, Lena was noticeably calmer.
“Lena, listen to me.” Teresa grabbed a napkin from the pile and gently wiped her daughter’s tear-strewn face. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry you had to carry that for so long by yourself. I love you. We’ll talk more about this—I promise. But for now, let’s go home. I want you to rest and stay calm, you hear me? You scared the hell out of me just now.” Teresa caught a sob in her own throat and hugged Lena firmly.
