Page 65 of Everything We Thought Was True
When I mentioned I’d be staying at the hotel where the conference was being held in Union Square, he asked if I would be open to staying someplace else.
“What’d you have in mind?” I asked.
“My friends know this great inn in the Castro. They stayed there last year and loved it.”
“The Castro? Isn’t that the gay area?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Yes, it is. It’s nice. I think you’d like it. Plus, it’s got some history that may interest you. We can go to Harvey Milk Plaza and walk around.”
I processed his comment. My dad wanted to show me the gay area and to experience the culture together.This should be interesting. A wave of excitement rippled through my body. I had a feeling this trip would be more than a visit to a former prison on an island.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
FRANK - PELHAM, NY
1987
Frank hummed along to Puccini’s “Nessun Dorma,” one of his favorite opera arias, feeling like a kid who got out of school early. He’d worked a lot of overtime lately to make extra money, so his boss had given him the afternoon off. It was Wednesday and Ricky’s day off at the bakery. Frank planned to head home, change his clothes, grab Ricky, and take the boat out for a spin with him, something they never got to do on a weekday.
He pulled into the driveway and saw a station wagon parked nearby in one of the visitor spots for their apartment complex. Frank didn’t know who it belonged to. He entered the apartment and called out for Ricky. No answer.
“Ricky?”
Still no answer. He heard music coming from the bedroom. Frank opened the bedroom door, and there was Ricky, in bed with a man.
Frank stood in the doorway, his mind racing.No, no, no. Not Ricky. What in the world? Why? Who?
He grabbed the guy and lifted him out of the bed, disgusted to see his naked body, knowing it had just been touching Ricky. The guy tried to pull himself away. Frank punched with all his strength, landing his fist somewhere on the guy’s face. The guy stumbled back,losing his balance, then righted himself. He grabbed his clothes and ran out the door. Frank tracked him with his eyes, feeling like a madman. If he’d had a gun, he definitely would have pulled the trigger.
He turned around and saw Ricky, still in the bed, the covers now pulled up to his neck, shielding his body from view. How many times had Frank seen him naked? That was his body to touch, to make love to, not some stranger’s.
“Get up!” Frank yelled.
Ricky cowered under the covers, as if the comforter would bring him some protection. “No, Frank, you’re crazy right now. I’m not getting out of this bed until you leave the room.”
“Who is he?” Frank yelled. “I want to know who he is. I will kill that motherfucker, you hear me?” His chest burned. “How long, Ricky?”
“How long what?”
“Don’t fuck with me! How long has this been going on?” Frank moved closer to the bed, and Ricky shifted farther under the covers.Goddamn coward.
“A few months,” Ricky whimpered. “He’s a pharmacist. That’s how I met him. At the drugstore. His wife and kids don’t know he’s gay. I’m sorry, Frank. I’m—”
“Shut up.” Frank put his fist up and moved toward Ricky. Then he stopped. He wouldn’t hit him. Couldn’t. He was furious, but he was also heartbroken.
“His wife and kids don’t know he’s gay,” Frank repeated. And then he laughed. It sounded maniacal. “Well, isn’t that familiar. Is that your thing, Ricky—you get them while they’re still married and show them what it’s like on the other side? Does that make you feel useful—to fuck the guys who haven’t had the guts to come out yet?”
His voice dripped with sarcasm and exhaustion. And suddenly, that was what Frank felt. Utterexhaustion.
“I lost my wife and kids. My family. For this.” He gestured at the room, the bed, at Ricky. “For you. For us. I loved you.” His face contorted, but he wouldn’t let the tears come out. “I did this to Teresa. Oh my God, so many times. I did this.” He shook his head. “Maybe this is my punishment. I don’t know. Because now I know how she felt. And it’s...”
He stopped. He couldn’t put into words the disappointment, the pain, the betrayal. The way it had wiped out all his hopes for their future together in the single moment when he saw Ricky with that man.
“Get out. Now. I mean it. I’m going out on the back patio for ten minutes, and when I come back in, I expect you and all your things to be gone. Do you understand?”
Ricky nodded solemnly.
“And never come back. Ever.”
