Page 63 of Everything We Thought Was True
My friends at school said they should! They think I’m the coolest kid for having a grandfather who is gay and getting married to his partner. LOL.
Boy, had times changed. I envied the freedom my niece felt to go to high school and reveal the news of her grandfather’s upcoming nuptials, knowing her friends would be supportive, treating it like a badge of honor. Good for her. Definitely not how things had been when I was a kid, that was for sure.
You ARE the coolest kid! At least to me.I added a heart emoji.
Aww, thanks Auntie Lena.Three dots appeared—she was typing more.Okay, gotta run and finish a school project. Tell Uncle Kevin I said hi. Love you!
Love you too. Good luck with the project!I smiled and shook my head, in awe of how open my niece was about her grandfather.
When my parents separated, I’d been trying to figure out a way through the messiness of the situation. It was the 1980s, when half the student body of Johnston looked like the kids in a sleek Benetton ad and the other half like they were playing a part in the rough-and-tumble movieThe Outsiders. The preppy aesthetic ruled, and the rich kids got the popular vote, with their college sweatshirts collected from fall tours of Ivy League schools, BMWs handed to them ontheir sixteenth birthday, stashes of marijuana and cocaine they could afford to purchase, and houses in the rich part of town with sweeping lawns, in-ground pools, and parents who were conveniently never home when a party occurred over the weekend. With my divorced parents, single mother shacking up with her boyfriend in a rental in the working-class part of town, hand-me-down clothes, and old-jalopy American-made used cars, I wasn't exactly part of the ruling class.
So when Jessica Mitchell, one of the most popular and wealthy girls, invited me over on a Tuesday to hang out at her house after school and stay for dinner, I said an emphatic yes. In this two-person play, Jessica was a Benetton kid, and I was clearly cast in the role of the outsider. Mom was due to pick me up, but she got stuck working late. Her boyfriend, Larry, had his bowling league on Thursday nights, so he couldn’t come. And Anthony, who’d just gotten a used car, was at his girlfriend’s house. By process of elimination, Mom sent Dad to come get me. And that would have been a nonissue, but my father showed up with Ricky, who was so obviously... out. I hated when my dad showed up places with him. Eventually, Mom would prohibit my dad from bringing Ricky anyplace where Anthony and I could bump into people we knew. But on this occasion, that rule wasn’t yet in effect.
When I opened Jessica’s front door to leave, there was my dad standing outside his car on the driver’s side, waving, with Ricky standing next to him, resembling the musician Prince. He wore black leather pants, boots with small heels, a bright-purple button-up shirt, and fingerless gloves. His thick brown hair was wavy, with a curl dipping over one eye, and he wore a heavy layer of eyeliner visible even from many feet away. I wanted to crawl under a rock.
“Who’s that?” Jessica asked.
I knew who she was referring to butanswered, “My father.”
“No, the other guy.” I looked out at Ricky like I didn’t know who he was. “Oh, I think he’s one of my dad’s friends from work.” I shrugged, acting like it was no big deal.
She looked out again, examining Ricky like she’d been assigned to write a report on him. “He looks...”
I held my breath, waiting for the rest of her sentence. Dreading it.
“Weird.” She sniffed the air like a hound dog who’d caught a scent.
“He’s fine. They’re not close friends. I don’t know why my dad brought him. Probably giving him a ride or something.” I looked out at my dad and put up a finger, gesturing I’d be there in a minute. He nodded.
Jessica looked from my dad to Ricky and then back to me. “Whatever. Okay, see you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” I said, heading down the walkway, relieved that was the end of that.
But it wasn’t. The next day, Jessica approached me between classes in a hallway that wasn’t heavily trafficked. “Hey. Listen, Lena, I have to tell you something, but don’t be mad, okay?”
I flinched, worried about what was coming.
“After you left last night, my parents said they don’t want me to be friends with you.”
“Why?” I asked, not liking where this might be heading. But needing her to spell it out. A glutton for punishment.
She looked around to make sure no one was in earshot and then back at me. “My parents were watching from the family room window when your dad and that guy picked you up. They said your dad’s friend looked like... a faggot. And maybe your dad is too. So they don’t want me to hang out with you.”
I took a step back.Wow, her parents were snooping? Bunch of busybody snobs.“And you’re gonna just go along with that?” Noquestions, no conversation, no explanation, no defense permitted to be asserted. I was guilty by association.
“What am I supposed to do, Lena? They’re my parents,” she said, flailing her arms at her sides. “Besides, he looked like a homo. It’s kind of weird that your dad hangs out with him. Made me wonder if maybe your dad is one too.” She held up her head, proud of her announcement, taking a stand.
I felt a rage buried deep inside me unleash itself. And the target of all that rage stood before me as Jessica. Her outstretched chin protruded from her neck, eyes defiant, judging, mocking. My hand soared through the air and hit Jessica’s cheekbone with a slap that reverberated through the empty hallway.
“Don’t you dare call my father that, you hear me? If I hear you say anything like that ever again, to me or anyone else, I’ll beat the living shit out of you.” My eyes burned and nostrils flared. I felt possessed.
Jessica held her hand to her cheek, tears welling up in her eyes. She looked truly frightened. I didn’t care. I wanted to hit her again and stepped toward her with my arm raised. She cowered, dropping to the floor and letting out a bloodcurdling scream. It stopped me in my tracks. I drew my arm back, looked at her with disgust, and marched down the hall away from her. I looked back before I turned the corner and saw her curled up in a fetal position, crumpled on the floor like a discarded mop.
In the end, Jessica opened her mouth again—she marched to the principal’s office and announced that I’d smacked her in the face. Thank goodness she didn’t divulge the reason for our fight. The principal then dragged my mom to school. And the following day, I took an enormous leap of faith to confide in the guidance counselor—only to be shut down. The counselor confirmed my worst fears—that kids my age, and even adults, couldn’t be expected to handle our familysecret.
I could still see the counselor’s face, full of concern, after I’d spilled the beans. “Oh, sweetie,” she’d said, her voice laced with pity I didn’t want. “I think your mother’s right, and this is something that should just stay within your family. Kids can be really cruel, and what happened with your friend Jessica is probably just going to be the tip of the iceberg.” She hesitated. “It’s also a difficult time right now. With...” She waved her hand and pursed her lips. “You know, with this ‘illness’ going around. I think if you want to have a much better experience in high school, you should keep this quiet. It’s nobody’s business, after all.”
If the guidance counselor was right, and what happened was the shape of things to come, I didn’t want to divulge my family secret ever again.
