Page 14 of Everything We Thought Was True
Kevin looked like he was processing, his forehead creased in thought. He started pacing back and forth a few feet away. “This explains so much. Holy shit.”
He was piecing things together. My intense loyalty toward my mother, which Kevin always thought went beyond the average bond between parent and child—including kids who had experienced the infidelity of one parent. How I always skirted questions of who my father was dating and asked Dad not to bring a plus-one to family events.
“Yeah, we’re a strange family. Unconventional for sure.” I hiccupped from crying.
He came over to me and took my hands. “But, Lena, why didn’t you tell me before? Did you really think I would care? Do you think I’m homophobic or something? Have more faithin me than that.”
“I know this will sound strange, but it was less about you and more about me. It was the way I grew up.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Kevin said. “This changes nothing about us—you hear me?”
I nodded, relieved and exhausted, and leaned my head against Kevin’s.
“We’ll have to fill in my family before the wedding, but we’ll deal with that together,” he said.
His family. Of course they’d have to be told at some point.Ugh. Why can’t I just have a normal family like Kevin’s?I hated that no matter how much time had passed, the secret was still hiding in the closet, festering like a boil.
“Can’t we just keep it quiet just for a little while? There will be so much going on with the wedding planning, and our families meeting each other. This will take over.”
Dammit—I’m still doing it. I’d poked my head out of my turtle shell only to pull it right back in. I didn’t want to crawl out of that shell. What I wanted to do was bask in the glow of being engaged, with nothing tainting it. A marriage proposal should be one of the happiest moments of my life. I wanted to have this moment, not have to face my past head-on. I wanted to get a break from navigating all the twists and turns I’d had to deal with since I was a little girl, censoring what I revealed when and to whom. It was exhausting keeping up the charade, but hiding had become my safe place.
I squeezed Kevin’s hand. “For now, can we just focus on us, please? This is our time. Let’s not let anything overshadow celebrating our engagement, okay?” I smiled and kissed him, and the past faded away. I was certain it would come back, but for that moment in the summer of ’96, I’d kept it at bay.
Chapter Seven
TERESA - NEW ROCHELLE, NY
1969
Teresa heard the phone ring in the distance and wearily realized she’d fallen asleep. She sprang up to answer it, hoping to reach it before it woke Anthony. She felt so tired lately, tending to Anthony’s needs and doing the household chores, that when he went down for his afternoon nap, she lay down as well. Glancing at the bedside clock, she saw that she’d been sleeping for over an hour.
“Hello?” she said groggily.
“Teresa, it’s me, Eva,” her mother-in-law said.
“Oh, Eva, you startled me.”
“Startled? Why?”
“I was just lying down while Anthony napped. I must’ve fallen asleep.” Teresa paused, not sure how much she wanted to tell Eva. “I’m just not feeling great, Ma. I’m so... tired.”
“You sick?” Eva asked.
“No, just... I’m not feeling like myself.”
Teresa hesitated, knowing if she continued, she’d start crying again. She’d had a hard time shaking off the nagging feeling that started the night Frank abandoned her at the club party and had only gotten worse over the ensuing months. She attempted to go about her daily routine but kept breaking into tears, like a faucet thatwouldn’t stop flowing.What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I shake this off?
She knew why. Marriage was lonelier these days. Frank was coming home later and later from work. But it wasn’t just work keeping him away from home. He went out more after work. Sometimes he went to Antonio’s Pizzeria for a slice with some guys from Cadillac. Or he took the boat out on Long Island Sound for a spin, alone or with his friend Henry. At first, going out with the guys had been rare, and Teresa had thought it was good for Frank to blow off steam after his long workdays. But it was becoming more of a habit, and she didn’t like it. She wanted him home with her and Anthony. More importantly, she wanted him to want to be home. But he now went out a few nights per week, missing dinner and occasionally coming home after she’d gone to bed. Frank sometimes didn’t even tell her what he was doing or where he was going. He would just say he was going out.Out.Teresa hated that word.
“I’m coming to get you. Both of you,” Eva said decisively.
“What? No, Ma, you don’t have to do that.” A sense of relief washed over her, and a sob escaped from her throat.
“Yes, right now. Get out of bed, and get Anthony ready. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Okay,” Teresa eked out.
Ten minutes later, Eva arrived and, in her typical no-nonsense manner, snatched Teresa up along with Anthony. “Andiamo.” She gathered Teresa’s and Anthony’s things then picked up the kitchen telephone and dialed a number. “Frank,” she snapped, “your wife and son are coming to my house for the afternoon. Go there after work for dinner.”
