Page 50 of Tinley's Daddy
He left the room. I bit my lip and stared at my reflection. The smell of coffee hit me. Josh put on music in the kitchen. My feet swung to the beat. I worked to smooth down a few stray strands. Once it was perfect, my hands dropped to my lap.
I gripped the side of the chair and turned my head to the left and then the right. My heart raced and my vision blurred as tears pooled in my eyes. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t escape her. My little staring back at me. I held in a sob and turned away from the mirror. My hands flew to my hair, removing the pigtails as fast as my fingers would move. I grabbed the brush and started brushing my hair down. It curled back up. “Ugh.”
I tried combing it flat down again and it would just curl back up. It wasn’t long and still wet. The gel made my curls pop and all of it made me look little. I jumped off the stool and turned the water on in the sink. I grabbed a towel and put it across my shoulders. I tried again to comb out my hair, but it didn’t work.
I sobbed and leaned forward. Something held me back.
“Tinley.” Josh pulled me away from the sink. Steam was lofting out of it. “It’s too hot.”
He turned the faucet off. I stepped away from him and tried to comb my hair again. I just combed and combed and combed.
“Tinley, stop.” But I didn’t listen. He snatched the brush out of my hands.
“Give it back.” I held my hand out.
“No.” He frowned. “Not until you tell me what’s going on. Why did you take down your hair? You looked so cute.”
“No,” I yelled.
He blinked and stepped back.
“I don’t want to look cute.” My lip quivered and I swayed.
Josh dropped the brush and grabbed me before I collapsed on the ground. He guided me toward the bed and sat me down.
I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I’m not cute anymore.” I shook my head and covered my face with my hands. My mind went back to the last time I had my hair in the same style. It was with the banker. He used to bribe me with money, but it was toy money. He made me do things to earn rewards, but he never showed me the prizes. Josh sat next to me but didn’t speak. He deserved an explanation, but I didn’t have one to give.
“I can’t be little anymore.”
He stood and pulled a chair from the corner to sit in front of me.
“Why not?” He placed a hand on mine to keep me from fidgeting. Banker hated when I fidgeted, too.
“You know why?” I pulled my hands away. “Those men used my little to exploit me and now she’s gone forever.”
“You may think she’s gone, but I have seen hints of her trying to come out since the moment I met you.”
“Nah-uh.” I slapped my hand over my mouth. Yeah, I heard it.
I took a deep breath and dropped my hands.
“She may want to come out, but she can’t,” I whispered.
Josh rubbed my hands together.
“Oh, sweetie.” His big hands engulfed my own and warmed me.
I loved being touched by him. I had to work out of the habit of flinching every time someone touched me. I got in troublewhen I did it even though I think some men liked it. The fear in my eyes. But it was different with Josh. I wasn’t scared of him. I welcomed his touch. In such a short time, I had developed a crush bordering on obsession with him.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Josh ran his thumb across my knuckles. “Did your little ever come fully out in the last two year?”
“Oh no.” I shook my head. I shuddered at the thought. I had seen way too much in the last two years. My little didn’t need to be exposed to it.
“Did you want her to come out?”
I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “It wasn’t safe.”
