Page 42 of Tinley's Daddy
They both looked so happy.
I burst into tears.
“OMG!” Maria scooted closer to me. “Oh dear. Tinley. What’s wrong?”
“The belt,” I whimpered. I dropped the phone and covered my face with my hands. “I-I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“Oh, sweetie. It’s okay.” She rubbed my calf. “Can you tell me why the picture upset you so much?”
“One of the guys who… I was with.” My whole body shook. “He used a belt like that. But thicker. It had a braiding pattern on the end like that one and it…” I hiccupped. “I-it really hurt.”
I rubbed the spot on my thigh where the belt caught. “It left the pattern on my legs and broke the skin.” I rubbed at the spot through my jeans.
“Oh, Tinley.”
“I keep thinking to myself. What kind of Daddy uses something that would leave a mark?” I huffed and sat up. I clasped my fingers together and set them on my lap.
“Had you been hit with a belt before?” Dr. Maria moved back and picked up her iPad.
“Oh yeah. I like impact play, and I earned quite a few spankings with my Daddy.” I rocked in the chair. “You know… before. I even like the belt because of how careful my Daddy was when he used it. He always talked to me about it and told me that sometimes Daddies didn’t pick up on my cues and if I needed him to stop or if it hurt in a bad way, I was supposed to use my safe word and he would stop.” Tears fell from my eyes. “I used my safe word, but it didn’t stop. That guy, he never stopped.”
“Tinley.” Dr. Maria frowned. “You know the man who didn’t respect your safe word. Who wouldn’t stop.”
I wiped the tears away, but they continued to fall.
“You know he wasn’t a real Daddy, right?”
I blinked and the tears stopped.
“What do you mean?” I hugged my knees to my chest.
“It sounds like you had a great example of a Daddy in your life.” Dr. Maria’s sorrowful eyes made me sad. “He sounded wonderful, and I’m so sorry he was taken away from you.”
I looked off.
“But what you have to remember is Daddy isn’t a title, it’s an action.” She hugged her knees, mimicking my position. “Was your Daddy your Daddy because he spanked you?”
“No.”
“Right. So every man who asked to be called Daddy isn’t one and that’s why it’s so hard because you know the difference. Your mind may have tried to justify his behavior because we do deal in domination and submission, sadism and masochism—you know. It’s in the name.” Dr. Maria giggled. “But we also know that above all those letters, the most important is consent.”
I nodded because I didn’t have the words at the moment.
“And if you need another reminder of what a real Daddy is, you can look at Josh.” She dropped the skirt and pushed off the floor.
Josh was a Daddy, but he wasn’t my Daddy.
“What is your favorite color?” Dr. Maria stood up and brushed her dress down. She grabbed a box of tissues and waved it in front of my face.
I blinked.
“Wh-what?” I stammered and grabbed a tissue.
“Your favorite color?” She pulled a set of leather-bound books from the shelf.
“No, about Josh.” My heart raced. “I mean, he’s a Daddy, but…”
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean you should let Josh be your Daddy.” Dr. Maria sighed. “I just meant, if you needed a real-life reminder of one, he is as good as anyone. Color?”
