Page 35 of Tinley's Daddy
“Just tell me.” I dropped my legs and sat up straight. “I can handle it.”
“It’s about your mother.”
Maybe I couldn’t take it.
I knew before he said it.
“She died.” Josh placed his other hand on top of mine.
“Died?” The word didn’t register a true meaning in my head. Died, as in dead. “When?” My vision blurred and distorted from the tears pooling. “How?”
“It was about a year and a half ago.” He flattened my hand between his two big hands. My hand disappeared in his. My body floated outside of myself, but that spot was connected to something and thank God for it. “Randall found a Facebook pageshe created for you. She was looking for you until the end. She even went to Amsterdam twice to find you.”
“She tried to find me.” I gave up on wiping the tears away and just let them fall.
“She did.” Josh’s tears fell, too.
I smiled, or tried to, but my body wasn’t really responding to commands. The world moved in slow motion. I pulled my hand out from between Josh, and it throbbed. I reached back for him, but he seems to be slipping away.
Josh’s eyes grew wide, but I wasn’t sure why. I reached for him again, but nothing.
It felt like the plane was going to continue toward its destination and leave me right here in this moment where I felt nothing but pain. Searing-hot, intense pain. More pain than I thought I was capable of feeling. Like the pain a bug would feel as it was being crushed by a shoe. I shrieked in agony. Josh didn’t hesitate.
He grabbed me and pulled me to him. Our chests collided with a dull thud. He wrapped one arm around my waist and lifted me. The other went under my ass. He pulled me to him. My body shook in his arms, but it was the friction that brought my senses back to reality.
A loud pop drew me back to the world and dropped me right smack in the warmest, safest place I had been in two years. In Josh’s arms.
He cradled the back of my head and squeezed and rocked me in his arms. I found myself straddling him. His hard body molded against mine. I laid my head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat through his shirt. My tears left puddles on his shirt.
I ran my hand down his back and rested it on the top of his firm ass. My brain was all over the place. I needed theconnection to stay grounded in the world. My mother died, yet I didn’t feel completely alone and that was a blessing.
“Oh, sweet Tinley,” Josh whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
I nodded and held him tighter. We held each other. I could stay like this forever. The two of us in this plane, hurtling across the sky for eternity. No need to go down there. There was nothing left for me down there. The only thing that mattered was staying in this man’s arms.
I looked up at Josh. The remnants of his tears streaked down his face. I ran my thumb down his cheek. He didn’t flinch this time. I leaned in and laid a kiss on his cheek and then moved to his lips. He stiffened, but I pressed on and he let me. I wanted one more taste before I had to fully accept the truth. My mother was gone.
I leaned back and looked into Josh’s eyes. They were soft and sweet but still sad.
“My beautiful, brave girl.” He cupped my cheek. “You are going to get through this.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak what I felt in my heart.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” He shifted me to sit sideways on his right leg. He continued rubbing my back. “I thought maybe you would need more time to deal with everything in your own time. Instead of going back to Pennsylvania where you have to face speaking to the FBI and your aunt, who was told you are alive.”
“Where would we go?”
“We have a house in Connecticut.” He grabbed a napkin and wiped my face. “We would land in New York City and drive there, about an hour away. It’s quiet and secluded. If you want to get back to your family too, I just thought?—”
“No,” I yelled and shuddered. “I mean, I want to go to the house.” I laid my head back down. “With you. Just you?” I stared into his eyes.
His gaze searched my face.
“Yeah, just me.” He caressed my cheek. “We can stay as long as you need.”
I nodded and rested my head back on his chest.
I must have drifted off. I awoke back on the couch, the blanket tucked in around me. Josh’s voice was a welcome lullaby. I shifted on my side but couldn’t see him. Did he not sleep? He finished his call and stepped back toward the back of the plane. He squatted down.
