Page 68 of Choosing My Happiness
I opened my eyes to a bright white room filled with familiar machines beeping. My throat and chest were sore. The rest of my body felt like I’d been beaten and should be covered in bruises. Everything was aching, including my eyes. I now felt empathy with the patients who came through the department suffering from panic attacks. They were scary to watch, but worse to have. They were also impossible to break out of. I took a deep breath, relishing the feeling of being able to breathe again without help. Although I missed the pressure of Jim’s arms around me. At some points, it was like it was the only thing holding me together.
I rolled my head over to look at the side of the bed, where some light snoring was in progress, and I smiled softly. Jim sat in the chair, completely relaxed with his hands folded under his chin as he sat upright, elbows propped on the arms of the hardchair. His face held some tension, but he was here and sleeping lightly. He didn’t leave me, just like he promised. He came for me and stayed with me.
“Jim?” I breathed, trying to project my gratitude.
His eyes opened, and he looked at me. He took a moment before his lips lightly lifted at the edges.
“How are you feeling?” His voice was rough.
“Like I’ve been run over by wild animals, and they concentrated on my chest,” I replied honestly.
He hummed, leaned forward, and brushed away something on my face. His hand dropped on my cheek, resting lightly, as his head tilted to the side.
“That was pretty scary, Daiz. Has it happened before?” His eyes scanned my face as he asked.
“No, never before.”
“Do you know what caused it?”
“Something Mom…Mollysaid to me,” I admitted.
He dropped his hand to cover mine, his thumbs gently rubbing my knuckles.
I drew a shaky breath. “She said I wasn’t allowed to be jealous of Dylan because I couldn’t keep my own baby alive.”
Jim’s hand froze. His whole body tightened up, and his eyes turned into ice.
“She said fuckingwhat?” he forced out between his teeth.
I just looked at him. I didn’t want to repeat it. I drew in a shuddering breath.
“She actually said I couldn’t keep BJ alive long enough for her to get to know him. So I don’t get to be jealous. She gets her grandson whether I like it or not,” I said in a shaky voice. I closed my eyes as tears dripped down. I felt my hand squeezed hard against something warm and soft. I blinked my eyes open again and saw the fury in the grey eyes above, where Jim was pressingmy hand against his mouth. He seemed to be trembling as he lifted his face and inspected my fingers.
“You get her off your details right fucking now. Me, or Bull, or Janie. Fuck, even Granny.We’reyour next of kin. You do not have anything more to do with that withered old cunt.” His voice was low and calm, but he still spoke through gritted teeth. “She has lost the right to claim the title of mother. She’s nothing now. To you, or me.Nothing, not even an ol’lady.” His lips curled into a sneer as he delivered the last line, his nostrils flaring.
I said his name like a prayer and let the tears run. He was it. I didn’t have to explain or defend myself. He knew me. He protected me. He slipped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled himself up to rest his head on me.
“BJ was a goddamn fighter, the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen. And you would have been the most amazing mother for him. She is going to regret her words. because she no longer exists for you or me,” he hissed. I sobbed.
“She isnotyour mother,” he ordered.
I shook my head. “She’s not,” I agreed.
“She doesn’t deserve you, Daisy. You’re an amazing, strong, resilient woman, and I love you.”
“I love you too,” I blubbered, angling my head to kiss him.
Our lips clung together in a chaste kiss, until they broke apart with his next words, “My Queen.”
Someone cleared their throat behind us. Jim stood up, his eyes still fiercely glaring at me.
“Just checking how you’re feeling?” The nurse smothered a grin as she threw a side glance at Jim. “If you’re feeling better, we might look at discharging you. You’ll recover better at home.”
I looked at her and nodded. There wasn’t really any need for me to be here anymore. The danger had passed, I just had to work out a way to get home.
“When were you supposed to work next?” Jim blurted out.
“Tomorrow night…night shift.”
