Page 51 of Choosing My Happiness
“Because I’m not proud of it.” I looked up at her. “I’m proud ofme, and what I’ve done these past four years. I’m proud of how I picked myself up after losing my son, and how strong I’ve become. I’m proud of who I’ve become without Blaze, and in spite of Blaze.”
She dropped her shoulders in relief and tilted her head. She thought that she saw a chance.
“And I’m sure Blaze would be proud of you and whatever you did in the city. But you can come home now. You’ve proven yourself,” she said sweetly.
I looked at her,reallylooked at her. She looked old despite being only 50. Her eyes were milky and sagging. Wrinkles criss-crossing her face like a demented map, pain and struggle etched into every one. Her eyes were filled with hope, though.
“Mom, how do you think I feel about Blaze?” I questioned.
“Well honey, you love him, of course. Obviously, you needed to teach him a lesson after that nonsense four years ago, but I think he’s learned it. It’s been four years.”
I squinted at her in confusion. “What has he learned?”
“Well, he visited your father every week, even bringing Dylan to cheer him up. Your father was very distraught when you left. And Blaze helped him get around, took him to the clubhouse when he had good days, and stayed here and chatted when he had bad days.” Mom got a distant look in her eyes. “He was a good support to me. He made me feel like a good mother.”
My heart sank. Mom was so used to getting scraps of affection, that the minuscule glimpses of attention by a man was all that was needed to get her appreciation, and her attention. Blaze had treated her right, but had done nothing for me, and she couldn’t…wouldn’tsee that.
I took a deep breath. “Mom, I don’t think he learned a thing. He hasn’t shown me any ounce of respect in the times I’ve seen him. I don’t think he actually loves me, and I don’t love Blaze any more. I barely like him. Can you accept that?” I asked bluntly.
She looked me in the eye, her own eyes watering slightly. “No, Daisy. No, I can’t accept that. He’s your husband. You are obligated to love him,” she said sternly.
I put my hands up. I wasn’t going to get through to her. We would have to disagree.
“Okay, I’ll find somewhere else to stay tonight, and I’ll see you tomorrow at the funeral.” I huffed in defeat and stood up.
“Oh no, no, where are you going? I thought you were staying here?”
I looked at her. “Mom, do you want me to? Despite me wanting to divorce Blaze and not loving him.”
“Yes, of course!”
“Have you invited him over tonight?”
Her breath hitched and her bottom lip quivered.
“I did,” she admitted. “But Daisy, please just give it a chance. You might find he’s changed with Dylan. He’s a good father. Please let us be a family tonight, for me?”
I took a deep breath, feeling tears pricking my eyes. She’s my mother and it was such a simple thing. Have dinner with Blaze.
“It’ll only be for a short while. And it’s how family should be. Just like your father wanted. One night before the funeral, our family together,” she begged.
I could do it. I just didn’t want to. But she was begging me with tears of her own. I sighed, stood up, and walked outside. I needed a moment away.
33
Chapter 33: Daisy
The roar of a lone motorbike coming down the street greeted me as I stepped outside. Bull’s dark eyes glared at me under the helmet as he pulled in next to my car and switched off the bike. I smiled at him, knowing that the glare was generic resting-Bullface, and not personal. The glint of a smile softened his eyes in response.
“How are you, Daisy girl?” he asked softly. The name rolled off his lips like he was talking to D2. He winced as he realized what he’d said.
“I’m okay, thanks Dad,” I teased him just as quietly. His glare lost all power, though he tried to maintain it. Finally, a true smile graced his lips and he nodded in amusement.
He leaned forward and pulled the bike stand down before swinging his leg over to dismount.
“I’ve got a favor to ask you, and your mom. Can I come inside?” he rumbled as he took his helmet off.
I nodded and popped open the trunk to get my bag. “Come on in, Bull. Do you want a drink or anything?” I walked back inside with him following.
