Page 4 of Choosing My Happiness
A quick, hard fuck was a good way to decompress after a shift at the firehouse. I made sure I wrapped it up well. I didn’t want to take anything home to Daisy, and with her being pregnant, I was even more careful. But if it was offered, I didn’t see the point in saying no.
Bull had tried to warn me to ease off on the girls. Something about treasuring what I had at home. But they wanted it…They were the ones who threw themselves at me. Besides, by getting my sexual aggression out on them, it meant that Daisy got my gentle side. That was my theory anyway. I lasted longer for Daiz this way.
We were just starting the night when I got a call from Daisy…something about needing help. But that red-headed witch had stood up as I answered, and lifted her skirt for me to see exactly what I’d be getting. I wouldn’t be long, I told myself. I unzipped my pants and rolled on a condom. My phone slipped onto the floor and, luckily, Bull picked it up.
“Take it out the back!” he growled, and looked at the screen. I grabbed Delilah and swung her over my shoulder. She squealed with delight as I ran for the rooms in the back of the club.
I heard Bull call for a prospect and then swear at me. I didn’t care, I knew I wouldn’t be long…I was wrong. That girl was insatiable. A few hours later, we ran out of condoms. She staggered out, messy hair and unsteady on her feet. Her friends collected her and pulled her into a taxi.
When I returned, Crackers was cleaning up the bar with a foul look on his face. Everyone else had gone and it looked like it was nearly dawn.
“Blaze,” he called. “Bull needs to talk to you in his office.”
I nodded and headed over there.
“By the way, congratulations,” he continued, before turning around and taking the trash out of the side door.
I stopped dead in my tracks, confused, watching the door swing shut.
“What the fuck was he talking about?” I muttered and continued to the office, pushing the door open slowly.
Bull had his head in his hands, staring down at a phone.
He looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes, sniffed, and then sat back.
“You’re a fucking bastard, you know that? Your wife called because she was inlabor.” He growled and then shoved the phone towards me. It spun around to show a picture of a small red baby in a woman’s arms. “Congratulations on the birth of your son. Born just 2lb. 11 inches in length.” He sneered in absolute disgust. “I had to send a prospect to Daisy just to get her to the hospital…and we weretoo fucking late,” he roared at me.
I was stuck on the picture. “Look. Look at what you lost because you were too busy screwing around. Look at what so-called fucking “free pussy” has gotten you!” He swiped across the screen to show picture after picture of the baby, of Daisy, of Daisy and the baby. More baby pictures. Then he took his phone and threw mine down in front of me. He stood and pointed a finger at me.
“That prospect I sent in your place earned his kutte today, and you willnotvote against it. It is an automatic yes from you. He took on your job. He sat withyourwoman while she was giving birth toyourdead baby,and he supported the fuck out of her while you—her own fucking husband, the man who should have been there—was screwing some town ass that was going to give it up for anyone.” He turned away. “Go home, clean yourself up, and then go and see your wife. I’m going home to mine, and to thank Christ I’m not as stupid as you.”
He stormed out into the rising dawn. My ears rang, not understanding his words. What did he mean bylabor? Daisy was nowhere near her due date. What dead baby? A sinking feeling was gathering in my gut.
I sat down and looked at my phone. There were 7 missed calls…2 messages…all from Daisy, except for one from Bull. That one showed some of the photos of the baby.Mybaby. My babywho was born too early. My baby was born dead, and Daisy had called me for help.
I slowly stood up and went outside to get my bike and ride home, my mind blank with shock.
3
Chapter 3: Blaze
The hospital visit didn’t go well. I forgot to apologize. As soon as I saw the baby, everything flew out of my mind. My son was born. I just gave Daisy the gifts I got for her on the way over, without saying anything. Instead, I sat and looked at my son in my hands. He was ice cold, dressed in tiny clothes, and he was small enough to just fit in my hands. I felt my palms warming him up, but I couldn’t put him down. This wasmy son.
Daisy was facing away from me. She’d rejected my gifts. She’d told me that she saw through them, and she knew about the girls. But she’d named my son after me, just like I’d wanted. Just like my parents wanted. Wasn’t that forgiveness? Oh God, I’d have to tell my parents. They were so excited to be grandparents. They loved kids, and they loved Daisy. I had made them proud and happy when I married Daiz.
Dad joked that a child would help me grow up and settle down. Not really a joke. I was planning on doing it once he was born in another few months. I was just having a final blowout. Sowing my wild oats, as they say. Then I’d settle down like Dad demanded. “Something something, show Daisy some respect - she’s not like her mother, blah, blah, blah.” At least, that’s what he sounded like.
But now it starts, I promised silently. No more nights at the club when Daisy falls pregnant again. I’d come straight home after day shifts. I guess I should have started that a little earlier. But it’s better late than never.
I glanced over at Daisy. She still had her back to me. The coldness from her was worse than the cold crib. I put Junior back into the crib.
“When…how long do they want you to stay in the hospital?”
She didn’t answer.
I stood up and walked around to see her face. She was asleep. Her face looked like she hadn’t slept for a week. The skin around her eyes was bruised with fatigue. I guess my apology wasn’t accepted. I just dropped my head, then walked out.
I drove to my parents. Mom came out as I pulled up.
