Page 39 of Embers in Our Souls
His parents are coming over here for a visit and they’ve invited me to join so I can meet them. I think I’m going to take them up on the offer and take that time off when they’re visiting. It’s been a little sad not havingparents in my life since mine were shit but it would be nice to have parental figures sometimes.
I miss you, Indy. Not getting to be at your graduation a few months ago really made me realize I want to be stateside. I’m going to see when I could possibly get over there. I can’t guarantee it will be soon, but maybe I can find a time to make that happen. I’ve used a lot of my free time to travel throughout Europe, but maybe the next time there is a break on my end, I will hop on a flight over and see you, if that’s something you’d be comfortable with me doing.
Let me know if you’d be okay with me coming to visit you still. It’s been too long since we’ve seen one another. I hope you’re doing well.
Needing to see you,
Ty
CHAPTER 21
Indiana
Nope.I don’t care. Not one bit. Seeing Tyler and Marissa at the restaurant two nights ago has not consumed my every thought.
“Do you agree then?” Kalli asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Of course I do,” I answer as if I know what she said, stopping my pen from tapping against my lips as I look out my office window.
For all I know, I’m agreeing to wearing a clown outfit at Vivienne’s next birthday party because I haven’t paid attention to anything for the last fifteen minutes. I don’t dare look over at my best friend, afraid my blank expression will give me away.
“Great, so I’ll let our best-selling author know her gargoyle romance is a go, and she should scrap the mafia romance she pitched the group with the dirty sex scenes,” she says, her sly smirk taking over her face when I swing a shocked look in her direction. It’s then I realize she tricked me. She knew I wasn’t paying attention to a word of what she was saying.
Kalli was in the meeting I missed this morning when I was at a school performance for Noah. My assistant gave me notes that I still have to look over, but Kalli insisted on giving me therundown on Ana Clevesky—the up-and-coming author that has hit the best-selling charts with her last two books.
Now I know why Kalli insisted on giving me the condensed version of those notes from the meeting; she knows I’ve had my mind in the clouds and she wanted to take advantage of it to get me to spill. I guess today I’m not doing my best at masking how distracted I am. I internally roll my eyes at myself.
I told Kalli everything that happened at dinner the other night and I’ve done a shit job covering up how irritated it has left me. Why am I letting this whole thing with Tyler consume me to the point that my life can’t seem to move forward?
“You got me, alright? I’ll be present, I promise.” I throw my hands in the air.
“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Kalli puts her hands up as if surrendering. “I’d be pissed too if I saw someone with their hands all over the man I care about.”
“I don’t care about Tyler!” I groan.
“Why are you fighting this? You know you’re full of shit,” Kalli laughs. “Keep telling yourself lies. I bet if someone was making out with Roger, you wouldn’t even bat an eye.”
“I would too. Don’t be ridiculous.” I scoff.
“Sure you would, Indy. I mean, let’s not forget this is the same man you’re trying to divorce. Why are you getting so frustrated over this whole thing with Tyler if you’re trying to detach yourself from him anyway?” She pulls her blue-light glasses down an inch to give me a proper stare down.
“I just don’t understand why he didn’t mention her. Also, she doesn’t seem like his type, that’s all. She seems a bit too strong-willed.” I shrug and go back to looking out the window, annoyed that Marissa is everything I’m not.
That’s the thing. The moment I met Marissa, I could tell she was confident and her self-assurance made me question if that’s what I lacked for Tyler. I hate that my mind went there. Is thatwhy Tyler chose to walk away from me years ago? Is that why someone else made him look in a different direction? Am I just not enough for him?
This is why I didn’t want to be around him anymore. I don’t like feeling less than because I’m sensing the cracks in my exterior. I don’t like this sense of inferiority because that’s not who I am deep down. I built myself back up, but the moment Tyler Hunter came back around, I started to feel the insecurities creeping in again.
Marissa is tall, strong, and vibrant. She’s everything I once thought I possessed, but then Tyler crashed this world I built up in my head, and my confidence was shattered. I had to rebuild, and it’s never really felt the same since then. I need Tyler out of my realm so I can go back to being Indiana without Tyler.
“Have you talked to him since the other night?” Kalli asks.
“No.” I shake my head.
I’ve avoided reaching out, sort of annoyed and also wanting to keep my distance. I know he read into my emotions that evening and I don’t want to give him more ammunition at this point. Maybe if I play it right, I can just find someone to serve the papers and get this over with. But then there’s a side of this I can’t avoid, which is thewhy. He needs to know the real reason why I waited so long to divorce him and it would be wrong to keep it from him. I thought we could have a conversation before moving further into the divorce, but each time I try we seem to get interrupted.
“Indy, what is your goal here?” She throws her head back, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Honestly, I don’t know anymore. I thought I did, but I think he’s got the upper hand right now. The way he acted the other night, I can’t shake it, that’s all.” When I close my eyes, all I see is her hand on his arm. Then I feel his breath near my skin, talking into my ear, and my body ignites.
