Page 33 of Embers in Our Souls
I look up, pulling myself from my thoughts. “Huh? Oh, I was cleaning up before you got here. You know, having a kid with their things all over the place. Didn’t want you tripping over Legos or something,” I lie. Fuck. Can he read the dirty thoughts running through my mind?
“You don’t have to worry about impressing me.” He smiles, almost as if he knows I’m lying through my teeth.
“Well, don’t want to worry about having to call 9-1-1 again,” I say, rushing off to the kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink?” I can hear my voice going up an octave.
“Water is fine. Thanks,” he says. I can feel him following me and he’s too close behind me. Shit, why does he have to be in my space? I can smell his body wash and it’s intoxicating.
“Alright. I’ll get it for you,” I say.
“Indy?”
“Yeah?” I say with a squeak.
“Are you nervous?” Tyler asks.
“No! Why would I be nervous?”I’m most definitely nervous.
“Because you sound nervous and you’re jumpy,” Tyler says.
“It’s just weird to have you in my home after all these years.” I motion around us.
“I get that. Would you have preferred we met somewhere else? I mean, you said we should meet here. I would have met wherever you wanted.” He says it so casually.
Tyler and I remain complete opposites. Looking at him, when he looks at me with that smirk, it reminds me of that young version of him. Deep down he’s still got this bad boy component about him and I’m transported right back to high school.
His hip is against my kitchen island, with his ankles and his arms crossed. There’s an ease about him in this moment that feels so nonchalant, while I’m a ball of nerves. I’ve got walls up to surround my heart in every direction and I can sense an air of simplicity about him, like nothing affects him. I wish I could be as easygoing. I envy that so much. I continue to move through my kitchen, grabbing a cup to fill for him.
All of a sudden, he begins approaching me. I still, not sure what he’s about to do. Soon, his hands are resting on the counter by my side, caging me in. He’s so close, I can feel his breath on my skin. I can see the gray mixed with blue in his irises.
My breathing accelerates, while his stays even. I keep my hands by my sides, even though all I want to do is grab his shirt and pull him closer, bringing his lips to mine. I miss feeling him near me. It’s been too long. And when he’s this close, that’s all I’m reminded of.
“What are you thinking about, Indiana?” Tyler asks me.
I love when he says my full name like that, his voice husky.
I don’t answer right away, my eyes volleying between his. I just keep looking at him, both our breaths becoming more labored as we stare at each other.
I bite my lower lip and reply, “I think you’re dangerous.”
His eyes ping-pong between mine, his lips in a straight line. Then he brings his face close enough to mine that I think he’s going to kiss me. I stop breathing in that instant and close my eyes, ready to feel him seal his lips to mine.
But then I don’t feel anything, and I open my eyes to see a smirk break loose across his face. Then he says, “Mmm. That’s interesting you say that because I think you and I are dangerously beautiful.”
He pushes away, back to where we are a safe distance apart and I’m instantly missing the warmth of his body near mine. Why is this so fucking hard for me? I want him one second, yet I know we can’t do this anymore.
I open my mouth to speak, but he interrupts me. “You said you had information to discuss before serving me with divorce papers?” he says, as if he didn’t just tip my life over yet again with those words.
I take a moment to right myself, then look around my kitchen. I nod at him, but I use it as a way to remind myself why we’re both here, in this moment.
“Yes, um, I do. You mentioned you wanted to talk too?” It comes out as a question.
“I thought you didn’t want to hear my side of things, Indy,” he reminds me.
Now I’m the one prolonging this divorce because he’s thrown me and I’m really having a hard time finding solid ground. I’m feeling conflicted on so many levels.
I hear Kalli’s voice in my head telling me to give him a chance to listen to his side of things. I feel myself stand a little straighter. I’m about to say something when he speaks again.
“I’m just doing what you want. I don’t want to make this harder on you. I listened to what you wanted and I really want to make your life easier in this whole thing,” he explains. He looks sincere as he says this.
