Page 12 of Embers in Our Souls
“You too, Tyler. Thanks for everything you did for Noah.”
He stands there an extra beat, and a part of me wishes he’d tell me how much he’s missed me since we last saw one another. That romantic side of me, the one that I know is buried deep inside and didn’t fade away years ago, is begging Tyler to swoop in and kiss me. But then that bitterness resurfaces, and I remember the feeling I got that day when I felt worthless holding that last letter. It felt like a brick in my hand.
I steel my spine again and stand taller, composing myself in front of this man that shattered my heart into a million pieces. Finally, he nods and turns around. I watch his retreating form as he leaves, and it takes everything in me not to chase after him.
“Aunt Kalli, you can’t do that!” Noah declares.
“I beg your pardon? I sure can,” Kalli says yet again.
I swear playing UNO with Kalli is worse than any child in the history of ever.
“I need an intermission,” I put my cards facedown and stand up to stretch.
“Okay, kiddo. Your mom and I need a breather. She can’t hack it with top UNO champs like us,” Kalli declares and I hear Noah chuckle behind me.
“Don’t gang up against me, you two,” I say, even with my back to them.
“Can I watch my iPad for a bit? I’m a little tired,” Noah asks.
“Sure, baby.” I grab his things from the table, putting his headphones on, with his iPad in place. The swelling has nearly completely subsided this morning, with a few raised bumps I can still see on his face. They had him spend the night as a precaution because it still hadn’t resolved much last night.
Once Noah is comfortable and watching a cartoon of his choosing, I get settled in the chair next to him.
“Thanks for grabbing my car at the school yesterday. And for swinging by my place and getting me a change of clothes. I appreciate you feeding the cat,” I tell Kalli.
We have a white, long-hair, Persian cat named Darth. We got him a few months back and I almost named him Snowflake because he honestly looked like a ball of snow, but it came down to a vote. Kalli was our tie-breaker and she sided with Noah when choosing—traitor.
“Of course,” she tells me, checking her phone. Once she finishes typing, she tosses it aside and gives me a long look. I know something is coming. She looks over at Noah, who is engrossed in his show and brings her gaze back to me.
“Alright, I’ve given you enough time to recover from yesterday’s trauma. Now spill.”
“I’m sorry?” I give her a quizzical look.
“You’re acting funny and I have a sneaking suspicion it doesn’t have to do with what happened yesterday,” she says as she motions toward Noah on the bed. I look over to the little boythat holds my whole world and hope to delay this conversation a bit longer with my best friend.
I feel foolish all these years later that I haven’t told Kalli about Tyler. I thought I’d never have to, if I’m being honest. I fooled myself in believing there’d never be a reason to. The divorce papers were drawn up after we parted ways—when he torched what I thought was a possible future—and I chickened out.
I used every excuse in the book not to pull the trigger and send it out. Shortly after Tyler imploded what I thought was something special between us, my brother passed away and the direction of my life shifted. My brother made it clear who he wanted Noah’s guardianship to be with and I needed my focus on that little boy.
Noah became my center and everything else became less important. Whenever I thought of Tyler and the divorce papers sitting in my drawer, I felt the unease creep in. The pain of it made me spiral even more, so I’d shove it deeper in the recesses of my thoughts, until I eventually let it go completely.
I’m scared she’s going to be mad at me for keeping this secret about the sham marriage that I let take hold of my heart. In the end, I was the fool that lost focus of what it was supposed to be—a contract to serve my best interest. I let feelings take over and he obviously felt differently.
I’ll never put myself in a position to be made a fool of again. And I haven’t since. I keep men at a distance now. I keep everything at a comfortable surface-level so I don’t risk getting hurt; that’s as far as I can handle things right now. Even with Roger, I’m aware giving him my whole heart is just too risky. So, if things keep moving forward as they have, I’m fine to live a stable, comfortable life and hear about spreadsheets until the day I die.
“Seriously, Indy, what’s going on? You’ve been all fidgety since I got here,” she eyes me from her seat.
Kalli knows me better than anyone and she’s not going to drop this. Seeing Tyler yesterday rattled me and I haven’t been able to shake the encounter off.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I avoid her gaze. I look down at the lint that’s attached itself to my leggings.
“Now I know for sure you’re hiding something. Just tell me what it is. I know it’s more than Noah’s trip to the hospital. What happened that you’re acting all strange?” she pushes.
“I—”
“Knock, knock,” a red-headed woman with a spattering of freckles across her face enters the room. She flashes her hospital badge and gives us a welcoming smile. “I’m Erin and I work for the hospital registration department. I need to clarify a few things with you regarding your paperwork. Are you Mrs. Ranton?” She looks to me as she walks further into the room.
“Yes, that would be me.” I wave my hello.
