Page 5 of Embers in Our Souls
“Tell me what you really think,” I tell her as I take a bite of my breakfast burrito.
“Listen, he’s cute. I’ll give him that much. I thought he’d be fun. But at dinner, he spent ten minutes talking our ears off about an Excel spreadsheet. I mean, it’s fuckingExcel, Indy. Does he scream ‘MICROSOFT!’ when he climaxes? How did you come to this conclusion?” She lifts a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me.
I try not to make a face at her comment because she’s not wrong. Roger did spend most of the time talking our ears off about Excel. He’s a data analyst at a large firm in Boston and he’s got a hard-on for the damn software on his computer. I thought Julian would at least find it interesting, but even I caught his eyes glazing over.
“I just think he’s stable for Noah and I,” I confess.
“I see. And you think that’s how you should gauge this?” She sits back in her chair and crosses her legs.
“Well, don’t you think that’s the responsible thing to do?” I laugh nervously. The way she’s looking at me is unsettling.
“Don’t you think you should find someone that rocks your worldandbrings stability? I think that would at least be more fun. That’s what Julian does for me.” The way she’s looking at me, I know she’s going into overshare mode.
An image of Tyler pops into my head, but I’m quick to erase it from my mind. Damn Tyler Hunter and the way he ruined me for other men.
The minute she opens her mouth again, I groan, knowing this story will be awkward.
“The other night, I put the baby to bed and Julian couldn’t wait until we got into our bed…” The gleam in her eyes is downright sinful and she’s having way too much fun making me uncomfortable with this story. “… so when I was in the kitchen washing some dishes, he lifted me on the counter, spread my legs, ripped my panties off, got down on his knees, and feasted on me like I was his last meal.”
I swear I nearly choke. “Jesus, Kalli.”
“I know, right? I nearly saw the light, girl.” She smiles at me, fanning herself with her free hand.
“Why do you tell me shit like this? Maybe, now that I think about it, can we scale back on the storytelling?” I admit.
“Oh stop. You watched me give birth to Vivienne. It’s too late now.” She waves her hand in the air.
“What was the point of your story, exactly?” I ask my bestie.
“That there’s no way ‘Routine Roger’”—she emphasizes with air quotes—“is going to be your forever guy. You need someone that will rock your world, Indy.” She shakes her head as she takes another sip of coffee.
She holds her gaze on me and I narrow mine because she just wanted to share her story. She’s so damn dirty, which I know quite a bit of because she’s always telling how we should publish more authors that have steamier books with dirtier scenes in them.
Roger and I met about seven months ago in a coffee shop down the street from my place. He lives in the building not far from my townhome. When we first met, he seemed really charismatic, but I don’t know if he simply had an extra boost of caffeine that day or what. He’s nothing but kind, although, he is a bit dry.
“Why are you even with this guy?” She looks at me like I have three heads.
“We have a lot in common!” I throw my hands in the air.
“Oh, really?” she throws back.
“Yes.”
“Great. Lay it out for me then.” She’s not going to budge until I give her something.
“We both love Boston,” I immediately explain.
She stares back, looking bored. After a few beats, she scoffs. “Are you fucking serious? That’s it? Your list is one thing. You both love Boston? You know what? Julian and I both brush our teeth. Then we knew we had to get married because we had the same brand of toothpaste. When we fight, we always come back to that basic principle and all is right in the world.”
I swear, I really hate that she’s a lawyer. “Fine, we love the Boston Gaels, which is unique because I’m not from here, and we also love lobster rolls,” I explain.
“You’re killing me right now.” She brings her thumb and index finger to pinch the space between her eyes. “So, you like the same baseball team here in Boston—wow, what a concept—and you like the same food. Shocker! You’ve been dating for a little over half a year and you don’t even have him hang out with Noah. Why is that?” She looks at me and narrows her eyes.
“It’s safer this way, Kalli,” I say.
“You always say that, yet you never expand. You’ve dated guys, yet you never really let them in. Now, all of a sudden, on this one who is as complex as a potato, you’re thinking he’s the one? I don’t get it.” She’s still eyeing me, thinking I’ll break under pressure.
Dating someone like Roger feels safe because I can compartmentalize how I feel about him. The connection feels harmless, which is easier for me. I can’t feel deeply for anyone like I’ve done in the past, but I also need stability.
