Page 99 of For The Weekend
Like I need to defend myself and my choices.
“I’m pissed. She went behind my back. Never even asked or had one conversation about her idea. It’s not okay.”
Ian nods. “I can see why you’d be pissed.”
His nonjudgmental tone sends me further into a spiral.
I complete another lap. “I know Eloise would never deliberately hurt anyone, especially Mazie.”
“And definitely not you,” Ian agrees.
“But it’s hard to know what the right thing to do is in my situation, and I have to follow my gut to protect my daughter.”
“And yourself,” Ian adds.
“Yeah, exactly. I’m protecting myself.” Blowing out a breath, I slow my steps. “I guess that’s why I got so mad. I’ve spent so many years trying to build up this safety net, and in that moment, it felt like she tore it all down. Whether she meant to or not, she took something that I fought so hard to make and broke it.”
I spin around to face Ian, with his even stare and placid features, listening intently. I let the last of it go. “Because I love her, it hurts more. I don’t expect it from anyone, especially Eloise, but I thought…”
“You don’t expect what?”
“Love.” It’s difficult, but I force the one word out, knowing I’m admitting to a particular issue that’s bigger than Eloise and me.
She is pure happiness and sunshine and loves with her whole heart. How could I possibly be good enough for her? I don’t deserve her love. I don’t deserve anyone’s.
This has Ian shifting on the couch, his even tone spiking, “You still don’t think you deserve it, huh?”
I slant my gaze away, unable to hold his. Then I shake my head.
Ian stands up, not even a yard between us. “Look at me, Roman.”
When I do, it hurts, the amount of kindness and understanding in his eyes. I may not have known my father, but I’ve known my brother. Rough around the edges, yet all c heart on the inside. He reaches out to grip my shoulders, squeezing. “There is nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you.Nothing. All the shit you did, all the mistakes you made, itmeans nothing to me. And you may blame yourself for any number of things, but no one else does. Your past is exactly that,past, and I’m only gonna tell you this one time, okay? Mom would be disappointed in you—not because of your past, but because of what you’re doing now. How you’ve worked so hard and come so far and still you think you don’t deserve love.”
He yanks me into him, holding me tight. “I love you.Welove you. But until you accept you’re worthy of it, you’re going to keep fucking up.”
I wrap my arms around him, my palms flat against his back, eyes closed tight against the sting in them, and Ian pats the side of my head like I’m a child.
At the moment, it feels like I am.
“One argument isn’t worth throwing away your entire relationship with Eloise, becauseyouare worth it,” he says, and I duck my head to his shoulder, embarrassed by the lump in my throat and threatening tears. He merely runs his hand over my head. “You are so much more than your addiction. You are the father of a funny and smart little girl. You are the grandson of an immigrant and the son of a single mother who wanted nothing more than for you to succeed. You have gone through hell and come out the other side. Don’t keep punishing yourself for your past, because you deserve to be happy, and you are worthy of love.”
He tugs me away from him, holding my head in his hands so I can’t look away and ignore him when he says, “I love you. Griffin, Taryn, the kids, they all love you. It’s up to you to decide to accept it or not.”
Then he lets me go with a shrug and steps back. “You came home, so you might as well accept the rest. We’re family—all of us—and no matter how long it takes for you to understand, none of us are going anywhere.”
I swipe my clammy palm over my face and nod a few times, although I can’t seem to find my voice. But he clearly doesn’t expect me to respond because he slaps his hand hard on my shoulder. “Now, go make me proud and get your girl. She’s scaring all her customers away.”
If I weren’t so overwhelmed with emotion, I might find it humorous, but I can’t do much else besides shake his hand and see myself out, taking a few deep breaths before slipping back inside Chapter and Verse, where Mazie greets me with a piece of paper. “Look at this! I drew it!”
“What is it?” I ask, taking it from her hands.
“Us. Our family.”
“Good job on giving me blue hair.”
She giggles. “Thank you.”
“You drew our family? Who’s that?”
