Page 47 of Who's Saving You
His jaw ticks. “I think you already know.”
I hold his stare, the air thickening with whatever is happening between us. I feel it, I just can’t explain it. My heart is racing, yet I'm unsure if it's fear or something else. “I know what I saw, but I can’t make sense of it.”
“I’m sure you’ll keep asking around until you figure it out.”
“He told me it’s a dangerous story to tell.” I gulp down my water, then place it on the table. He walks back over and sits opposite me as I ask, “Do you think he’s the one who sentthe picture?”
“No,” he answers immediately. “Trevor isn’t that guy. He’s got no drive to do anything other than wake up and go to the field. If you couldn’t tell from your conversation with him, he’s happy in his small town, doing the minimum.”
“I think he’s still living under the shadow of whatever happened to him sophomore year.”
He scoffs. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
“Research is in my genes.”
“I’m not lying to you,” he says after a moment, his voice lower now. “I just haven't told you everything, for your own good.”
I don’t respond. I just look at him, because I don’t know how to answer that without giving myself away a little. The problem isn’t so much that he hasn’t told me, it’s how much I want him to trust me towant to tellme. I want him to come to me, and not just for this article. The air continues to shift between us like it always does when we’re like this, too close for comfort. I don’t know what it is about him; he captured me from the start, even though I didn’t want to be. His cocky yet sweet attitude really caught my attention.
Nik leans in just a fraction. “I’m starting to think I was right and you really don’t hate me.”
“Oh?”
“You haven’t asked to leave since the first night you came here,” he says.
I look down. “I haven’t,” I whisper.
“Why?”
Because I don’t want to. Because some part of me feels safer here, near him, even with everything I don’t know. Because the way he looks at me makes the whole world slow down. Because maybe Sloane is right, and he’s not like Dylan at all.
Jesus, Noelle, don’t be so dumb. He’s not good for you.
But I don’t say that. Instead, I fire back, “You told me I wasn't safe out there. Now you want me to test it?”
He smirks and leans back. “Just making sure you're paying attention.”
I roll my eyes and stand. “And maybe I’m waiting to see how this ends.”
He watches me, nodding slowly like that answer means more than I realize.
The silence wraps around us again, heavier this time. He rises from the couch, his eyes dropping to my mouth, and for one quick breath, I think he’s going to kiss me. My heart kicks in my chest, wild and unsteady. I don’t move, I don’t breathe, but my mind races with questions of ‘do I want him to? And what happens if he does?’Instead, his jaw ticks, then he drops his eyes from me, and puts his glass down on the table. “I’m gonna try to sleep,” he says, his voice quieter than before.
“Okay.” I’m left where I am as he brushes by me. He heads down the hall but doesn’t quite make it to the door before he pauses and glances back at me. There’s something in his eyes that wasn’t there before—something almost innocent about him.
“I’m not who they think I am, Noelle.”
I nod. “I know.”
He disappears into the dark, and I stand there alone in the quiet room, wondering ifI’mstill who I thought I was, too.
18
Noelle
It’s been a week since I’ve been forced into staying at Nik's condo. My world has turned upside down in a short amount of time. I’ve continued to research; I just can’t stop until I know what’s going on. Because whatever it is, maybe I can help. If there was something more that happened to him in college, if someone tried to end his career, we’re getting to a point where maybe I can uncover it.
We’re talking about a thrown game here, which only makes my assumptions that much clearer. Nik needs to come clean about what happened, whether right or wrong, or at least share his side so we can figure it out.
