Page 64 of Who's Saving You
TRICKIE NICKIES
Me: 35–14. I told you your team can’t catch me
Loving: Nahhhh, refs had it out for me. Rigged game
Soba: Bro, you dropped a pass and missed a block. Refs aint got shit to do with that
Me: He was stunned, that’s all. I can imagine playing against one of the best is intimidating
Loving: More stunned that you scored such a beauty. Smart, too
Soba: Right? My girl called her a smokeshow
Loving: Never expected it of our little Nikki boy
Me: She’s not mine
Loving: Bullshit
Soba: Where’d she sleep last night?
Me: In the hotel
Loving: Hm. Which room?
Me: Don’t worry about my room. I just hope your girl doesn't bail on you after that insane loss
Loving: She eased my pain. Twice
Soba: Sounds like the American dream
Loving: Bingo. Nothing more American than football and sex
THREE WISE WOMEN (SOMETIMES)
Sloane: So… how’s “fact-checking” in Houston going?
Olivia: What she means is… HAVE YOU TOUCHED HIM YET?
Me: Subtle, you two
Sloane: Don’t dodge. Spill. You got our hopes up once before. Don’t let us down now
Olivia: I swear if you say “it’s complicated,” I’m flying down there
Me: ...fine. We slept together
Sloane: ALL CAPS SCREAMING
Olivia: EXCUSE ME? Journalistic integrity WHERE?
Me: Gone. Buried. RIP. Do not send flowers
Sloane: Details. Now. How was it? Scale of 1 to lost my voice from screaming
Olivia: Don’t answer her. Answer me. Did he live up to the “Saint Nik” hype?
Me: If I say yes, will you both shut up?
