Page 125 of Cadence
“If you see this,” Maddox says, staring into the lens like he knows I’m on the other side. “I’m not asking for anything.”
His throat works on a swallow, and my heart jerks against my ribs. I lean forward instinctively, like being closer to the screen will stop it from ending, like I can physically hold on to his words.
“I just wanted you to know, I meant it. All of it. Every single fucking second.”
Then the screen cuts to black.
Live video ended. 298k viewers.
“Holy shit,” Olive whispers, swiping under her eyes.
My thumb stabs at the tablet screen like it’ll bring him back. It doesn’t.
I’m shaking, jolting to my feet, tablet clattering to the floor as my apartment fades into the background. The silence feels louder than his voice ever was, but even in the quiet, I can still hear the last line, the last note as it faded into nothing.
He didn’t apologize, not really. He never even said my name. But exposing himself like that in front of thousands says more than a single word ever could. That song is mine, written for me, composed from pain and regret and it was so fucking beautiful.
I want to be mad. Iammad. He kept something from me he never should have. And that type of betrayal isn’t something I can brush aside with pretty lyrics and a pitiful look. So why can’t I stop staring at the blank screen? Picturing his face? Hearing how his voice shook on the last chord, the way his breathing was all wrong?
Even through the camera, he looked like he’s been hurting the same way I am.
I blink, the room coming back into focus, and my gaze lands on the photo of Penny, on her beautiful smile, her short brown hair, her big blue eyes that always seemed slightly too big.
What are you so afraid of?
Her question haunts me, the same one she asked me the night she died.
“Paige? Are you okay?” Olive asks gently.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, answering both her and Penny’s questions at the same time, finally able to give her an answer. “I’m scared.”
Olive releases a sigh. “Why?”
“Being hurt, I guess. Being lied to, losing someone important to me again, losing someone I lo…”
I trail off, the word landing like a stone in my stomach.
“Paige? Someone you what?”
Love.
I’m in love with him.
I don’t know what I’m doing until I’m already moving, frantically searching the living room and grabbing my bag, my keys, jamming my feet into my sneakers before rushing for the door.
“My phone? Where’s my phone?” I ask, whirling around.
“Here,” she says, thrusting it into my hand and pulling me in for a hug that lasts all of two seconds. “Now go. Get your man.”
Rain thunders from the sky, the clouds dark and ominous as I dart to my car. My hands tremble as I push the ignition button, the engine roaring to life, ready for…
“Fuck,” I hiss, yanking my phone from my pocket and pulling up my messages. I scroll, fast and reckless, until I land on Eli, or Beau, it doesn’t matter who, typing out words that don’t make sense, before trying again.
Where does he live?
The seconds tick by, each one dragging the longer I stare at the screen.
Eli
